


Life, Love and Happiness

by FanGirlWriter



Category: Castle
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-11-16 19:16:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 44,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11259252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanGirlWriter/pseuds/FanGirlWriter
Summary: After Castle leaves with Gina in the season 2 finale, Beckett has a one night stand and comes to regret it. Will Castle stand by her or is it too much for him to handle. Maybe just a tiny bit of angst...





	1. Chapter 1

Staring down at the plastic stick in her hand Kate sighed loudly. Wondering how on earth this had happened to her. She rolled her eyes at herself and laughed harshly. She knew exactly how this had happened. She’d gone out to a nightclub and picked up the first good looking guy she saw. They sat in the corner of the bar and she had let him screw her brains out. 

He’d asked for her phone number. To which she had declined to give him. She was in love with another man. A man that obviously didn’t love her. A man that had asked her to go to the Hamptons with her and then, before she could give him a straight answer, he had left for the summer with his ex-wife. 

So, she went to a bar to try and forget. To try and ease the pain in her heart. She never should have let her guard down. She should have went home and drank in the comfort and privacy of her own apartment. 

Now, she was faced with a very unwanted pregnancy. She had never been exceptionally regular. So, when she had missed her second period, she decided to take a pregnancy test. She had expected it to come out negative. When the timer went off and she looked at the test, she had slumped to the floor. 

They had used protection and she was on the pill for God’s sake. How in hell had this happened? She wasn’t in a relationship with the man. Hell, she didn’t even know his name. Hadn’t cared about learning anything about him. All she wanted to do that night was to forget. Even if only for a brief moment. 

She finally managed to pull herself off of the floor and threw the test into the trashcan. She decided that she would call her doctor and arrange for confirmation. She picked up her phone and saw that she had a missed call from Castle. She sighed and saw that he had sent her numerous text messages. Most of them were asking her if she was okay. 

Texting him back, she managed to type out: I’m fine. 

Turning her phone off, she climbed into her bed and pulled the covers up around her. She sighed and closed her eyes. Letting a few tears slip out. She didn’t want a baby. Especially a baby by a man that she knew nothing about. Hell, she didn’t even know what color eyes he had. Every time she pictured the man, her partner’s face appeared. 

Moments later, she fell into a restless sleep. 

When she woke later that night, she heard someone pounding on her door. Sighing, she climbed out of bed and padded her way to the door. She opened it and saw Castle standing there. Sighing, she asked, “What do you want Castle?”

He shuffled his feet back and forth and finally raised up two bags. He told her, “I brought food. I…”  
That was all that he was able to get out before she smelled the food. She covered her mouth and ran to the bathroom. Barely making it there in time. She then proceeded to lose the contents of her stomach. She knew that Castle had followed her, but she honestly didn’t care. Her entire world was spinning on it’s axis and she held onto the toilet for dear life. 

When her stomach was finally empty, she heaved a huge sigh of relief. Resting her head against the cool porcelain bowl, she never wanted to move again. She was content to stay here forever. She knew that wasn’t a possibility though. So, she flushed the toilet and managed to stand on shaky legs.

Kate knew that Castle probably had a million questions. Questions that she wasn’t willing or able to answer. At least not right now. He looked at her and she simply shook her head and told him, “I don’t want to talk about it Castle.” 

Her partner simply looked at her and tilted his head, “Are you okay? Did you need me to get you something to settle your stomach?”

“I’ll be fine Castle. I just…” How could she ever tell him that she made a mistake one fateful night? That she was possibly pregnant with a strangers baby. She simply sighed and shook her head, “I don’t want to talk about it right now Castle.”

Castle was torn between wanting to know and not wanting to know. He knew that if he pushed her too much, she would shut down. So, he only nodded and walked into her living room to unpack the food he’d brought for them. Kate remained in the kitchen watching him. Afraid to get too close for fear of getting sick again. When he was done, he looked over at her and motioned for her to come sit with him. Taking a few cautious steps, she managed to make it to the couch and sat down. She made sure to only breathe out her nose. Taking shallow breaths to keep from possibly getting sick again. 

She picked up the container of food that Castle brought for her and took a bite. She chewed it slowly and she thought that she was successful at keeping from getting sick. However, once the food hit her stomach she was running once again to the bathroom. She slammed the door and locked it behind her this time. 

Castle was a smart man and she knew that he would figure this out. Sooner rather than later and she didn’t want to see the disappointed look on his face when she told him that she was pregnant with another man’s baby. So, when he knocked on the door, she simply told him, “Look Castle, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to stay tonight. I think I have some kind of bug. I’ll call you tomorrow. Okay?”

Standing on the other side of the door, Castle nodded and told her softly, “Okay Beckett. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Resting her head against the wall all she could manage to say was, “Tomorrow. Feel better Beckett.”

She could only nod her head and she closed her eyes and let a single tear roll down her cheek. She’d known for awhile that she loved her partner, but she wondered how he felt about her. Was she simply a conquest? Something that once he had, he would discard and move onto the next beautiful woman. He’d never given her the slightest indication that he was interested in her as anything more than a partner. 

Now they would never have a future together. What man would want to raise another man’s child? She knew that she could get rid of it. Hell, she probably should. She wasn’t ready to raise a child. Wasn’t mother material. Hell, she wasn’t even sure that she wanted children. She definitely couldn’t raise a child by herself. Not in the kind of job she had. That would be something she would have to consider.

She finally picked herself up off of the floor and managed to crawl into her bed. She closed her eyes and drifted off into a restless sleep. She would definitely call her doctor in the morning. She would figure everything out then. For now, she could sleep on everything. Not realizing that her life would change in the morning…….


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing Beckett did when she woke up the following morning was call her doctor. Luckily he was able to fit her in first thing that morning. Beckett got ready and hurried to the subway. She had a splitting headache and she knew that she needed some coffee. She’d been in such a hurry that morning that she hadn’t bothered to grab a cup of coffee.

She arrived at the doctor’s office nearly half an hour later. She signed in and took a seat in the corner. Wishing that she could make herself invisible. She eyed the other women curiously. Most of them were in various stages of pregnancy. Some were alone, but most of them were with their husbands or boyfriends. She sighed silently to herself and wished that she hadn’t been so careless. 

Her name was called after she had been waiting for about 15 minutes. She sighed and walked towards the open door. The nurse asked her to step on the scale. She showed her to the waiting room and asked her, “So, what brings you here today?”

Clearing her throat, Beckett told her, “I think I’m pregnant. I took a home pregnancy test and it came back positive…”

The nurse wrote in her file and asked, “I take it that it wasn’t planned?”

Beckett shook her head, “It wasn’t. In fact I’m not even dating anyone and…”

Nodding, “I’m not here to judge you dear.”  
She turned and handed her a cup and asked her for a urine sample. When Beckett stood, she patted her on the back. Beckett sighed and walked to the bathroom. She placed the sample in the tiny box in the wall and walked back to the exam room. 

There she sat and studied the pictures on the wall. Some were pictures of babies that her doctor had delivered. One showed a baby passing through the birth canal. It was all so surreal to her. Of course she’d been in a room like this countless times, but never for anything like this. Never for something that could change her life forever.

Her doctor walked into the room after a few moments and smiled at Beckett, “So, Katherine, I see that you think you might be pregnant. When was your last menstrual cycle?”

Thinking back, Kate realized it was at the end of June.. So, she said, “Around the end of June.. I didn’t think anything of it because, well you know I’ve never been particularly regular. I only suspected something was off when I missed a second one. Because well….Even for me that’s odd.”

Doctor Johnson nodded his head and told her, “Well, we can do two different things. We can either do a blood test. Which will take a few days.”

“Is there anything quicker?”

“Yes. We can do an ultrasound. If you are pregnant, we will be able to see the baby and calculate how far along you are and your approximate due date.”

Beckett nodded and told him, “Do the ultrasound.”

Her doctor nodded and said, “Give me a moment and I’ll bring in the ultrasound machine.”

Laying down on the table she closed her eyes and wanted to ask her doctor about terminating the pregnancy. She was in no way ready to have a baby.

Once her doctor came back into the room, she watched as he got the machine ready. When he raised her gown, Kate closed her eyes and wished that she could be anyplace else. Maybe on a beach. Drinking margaritas or daiquiris. Anyplace other than here in this doctors office. 

The doctor worked silently and she could hear the machine clicking away. She figured that the doctor was taking measurements of the baby. Then, a sound that Kate had never heard before filled the room. Her eyes popped open and she asked, “What’s that?”

Smiling, he doctor said, “That’s the baby’s heartbeat. It’s strong and steady. You appear to be about eight weeks pregnant. That would put your due date at April first. Give or take a bit.” 

Kate nodded and asked, “I….”

“I take it this wasn’t planned.” 

Kate laughed harshly and told him, “Hardly. I’m not with the father and well…..”

“Did you want to talk about terminating the pregnancy? It’s early enough and….”

Swallowing hard, she shook her head. Before she had heard the heartbeat, she had been considering it. Considering doing the easy thing. The thing that was easiest for her. However, hearing the heartbeat made it all too real for her. In that one single moment, she knew that she wouldn’t be able to get rid of the baby. Despite the baby not being planned. 

She finally told him, “I don’t want to. I thought I did, but I...I can’t….”

Nodding, her doctor told her, “Okay. Then I will want to see you back in a month. I’ll write you a prescription for prenatal vitamins and stop by and see Tracy on your way out to schedule your next appointment. Oh and Katherine?”

Turning to look at her doctor she asked, “Yes?”

“Congratulations.” 

She stood and got dressed before leaving the exam room. Despite having no idea what lie ahead for her, she was going to have a baby. A baby that she hadn’t known existed merely 24 hours earlier. She had no idea how she would do it, but she was going to have a baby.

When she got home that night, she sat on the couch holding a mug of peppermint tea. She sighed softly and just stared into space. She wondered how she was going to be a good enough mom for her unborn baby. Was this a huge mistake? Could she do this by herself? Was she strong enough? How was she going to tell her father that he was going to be a grandfather? She felt like she was 18 again and terribly afraid of disappointing her father. 

She had never been a baby person before. Never saw herself wanting children before. However, when she heard her baby’s heartbeat filling the exam room, she felt something inside her shift. She could see herself holding her baby. She just wished that it was under different circumstances. Was she ready for this or was she making the biggest mistake or her life?


	3. Chapter 3

The morning after her doctors appointment is when her morning sickness hit with full force. She couldn’t even look at food without feeling nauseous. Even the thought of food caused her stomach to roll. She managed to drag herself into work that morning. When she got to her desk, Ryan and Esposito turned and looked at her. Ryan did a double take and asked, “Are you okay Beckett?”

“Yeah, you look like hell.” 

She simply waved her hand and shook her head. She saw Castle coming into the precinct and he was carrying a cup of coffee. She smiled and him, but when he sat the coffee on her desk, she bolted out of her seat and straight to the bathroom. Castle asked Ryan, “What’s wrong with Beckett?”

Ryan and Esposito shrugged they shoulders and Ryan said, “Not sure.” 

Castle sat down in his seat and waited for Beckett. 

Meanwhile, Beckett has locked herself in the safety of the bathroom. It felt like she was losing everything she had eaten. In her entire life.If this was how the next few weeks were going to be, she wasn’t sure she would survive. 

After the worst of the nausea passed, she finally managed to stand and she walked over to the sink and cupped some water into her mouth and rinsed it out. Managing to get most of the awful taste out of her mouth, she dried her hands and walked out of the bathroom. She saw Castle sitting in his car beside her desk. She saw the coffee sitting on her desk. Shit. Maybe if she breathed through her nose she could prevent the nausea from coming back. 

Once she sat down at her desk, she looked at the coffee. She managed to breathe through her mouth. For the most part. However, when Ryan walked over to her desk and asked her a question, the scent of the coffee hit her nose and she knew she wouldn’t make it to the bathroom this time. She barely had enough time to turn towards the trashcan. However, since she had nothing left in her stomach it was dry heaves. It caused her head to hurt and the room started spinning. She looked at Castle and managed to croak out, “Get rid of the coffee. Please?”

Castle gave her a strange look. Then he took the coffee and hurried to the breakroom. He was shaking his head and wondering what on earth was wrong with Beckett.The last two times he’d seen her she had gotten sick. Both times at the smell of food. 

It was like a lightbulb went off in his head. He threw the coffee in the sink and turned to look at Beckett. He finally managed to put two and two together and came up with four. He saw how pale she was and he knew that she probably had the flu. 

Walking out to the bullpen, he asked Beckett, “Do you have a fever?”

He reached out to feel her forehead and she jerked away. Then she snapped at him, “I don’t have a fever Castle. I’m fine.” 

“You’re not fine Beckett. You’re getting sick at your desk. You got sick the other night when I brought you Chinese food and….”

Castle suddenly stopped….Shit…. She didn’t have the flu. She was pregnant.

Beckett looked at him and croaked out, “Don’t go there Castle. Please?”

Ryan and Esposito were doing paperwork at their desk and were paying no attention to their conversation. He asked, “How far along are you?”

Sighing, she told him, “You don’t know when to leave things alone. Do you? I told you I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I’m just worried about you.” 

“No, you just want to butt your nose into things where you don’t belong. It’s none of your business Castle. Just drop it.”

She knew that he was only trying to show his concern. However, she wasn’t in the mood for it. She just wanted to for all about it for now. Wanted to deny that she had screwed up and gotten pregnant. Wasn’t it just this kind of thing that she had always accused him of? Sleeping around and being a playboy. He hadn’t done that for a long time. He had changed. Now, she was the one that was acting out of character. She was so ashamed of herself. Ashamed that she was pregnant by someone she didn’t love. Hell, she didn’t even know the mans name. What kind of mom was she going to be for this baby? What did she know about having children? 

She picked up her purse and walked out of the precinct. She couldn’t do this. Couldn’t face her partner and admit to her mistakes. She heard Castle calling her, but she ignored him. She just wanted to get out of there.

Castle watched her leave, but he was determined to talk to her. So, he took the stairs and hurried down to the bottom floor. He barely made it when he saw her exiting the building. She had her head down and was hurrying to the subway. He followed behind her and touched her shoulder. She turned around and stopped herself from hitting him. She sighed loudly and asked, “What do you want Castle?”

“To talk to you. Look, I’m not going to judge you Beckett. I just want to talk to you.”

:What about Castle? Do you want to talk about how I screwed up? That I slept with a man that I don’t even know his name. That I did the same thing that I always accused you of. That I’m nothing more than a slut. That I’m probably the last person that should be having a baby. Let alone raising a child all by myself. Or maybe you want to talk about something else. Trust me Castle, I’ve thought about all of this myself. I should probably just terminate the pregnancy. Because I honestly have no idea what I’m doing and no idea how to raise a baby. I’ll probably just screw up his or her life….”

By the time she was done, she was crying hard. Her whole body was shaking and tears were rolling down her cheeks. When Castle remained quiet, she simply sighed and turned to leave. Castle was rooted to the spot where he stood. He honestly had no idea what to say. He wanted to tell her that none of what she said was true. However, she had blindsided him. Shocked him even. So, he said nothing. Which was probably the wrong thing to do. Because she obviously wanted him to say something. Anything. 

When she got to her apartment, she slammed the door behind her. She threw her purse on the couch and made her way to the bedroom. She threw herself onto the bed and curled up into a ball. She then proceeded to cry herself to sleep. 

When she woke up, there was a knock on her door. She knew instinctively that it was Castle. She sighed and got up to answer the door. She asked him harshly, “What the hell do you want?”

“I want to talk to you. Wanted to set you straight about a few things.” 

“I’m honestly not in the mood to talk to you Castle. Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

Sighing, Castle managed to croak out, “Because I love you…..”

Beckett stared at him in stunned silence. He loved her? How could he love her? She had screwed up monumentally. In the worst way. He couldn’t love her. It was impossible. She looked at him and shook her head, “No. You don’t love me. You….”

Castle rushed forward and captured her face in his hands and kissed her on the lips. She pushed him on the chest and whispered, “Stop. You can’t do this. You can’t love me….”

“I do. I tried to tell myself that it’s impossible, but…”

“You need to leave Castle.”

“Why? Because I told you how I feel about you?”

“That and the fact that I’m in no position to love anyone. I’m no good for you Castle. I’m pregnant. With another mans baby. What part of that is so hard for you to understand?”

“Do you think that matters to me Kate?”

Shaking her head sadly, she managed to whisper, “No, but it matters to me…”

Seeing the overwhelming sadness in her eyes. He wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her until that look went away. However, he knew that it would only serve to drive her further away from him. So, he took her arm and gently led her over to the couch. Sitting down beside her he whispered, “Everything you said earlier is, forgive my language, bullshit. You’re going to make a fantastic mother. I’ve seen you with children before. You are wonderful with them. Children are not born with owners manuals. Everyone learns as the go. Hell, do you know how many mistakes I made with Alexis? More than I care to admit. However, that’s part of life. Part of being alive. That baby is so very lucky.” 

“Yeah, because every baby deserves a mother that screws around and conceives them without knowing anything about said man.I should just get rid of the baby and…”

Castle whispered harshly, “No… Stop saying that Kate. This baby, your baby deserves a chance. Who cares how it was conceived?”

“That’s easy for you to say. You know who Alexis’ mom is.”

“It would be kind of hard not to.” 

Despite the serious conversation, Beckett laughed softly, “I guess so.”

“Seriously Beckett. I have a feeling that this is going to be a good thing. A really good thing. You are going to be a fantastic mom. I just know it. Besides you have me to help you. I’ll be here every step of the way.”

“Why Castle? What’s in it for you?”

“I already told you.”

“You love me.” 

“Yes I do. You deserve happiness Kate…”

Sighing, Beckett finally whispered, “How can you… You should walk out the door and not look back Castle. I’m no good for you. I’m not good for myself. I shouldn’t have….”

“What?” 

“I lost faith in everything. That night that you left with Gina I knew that I’d made a mistake. I wanted to tell you that I wanted to go with you to the Hamptons.”

Castle’s eyes grow wide at her words, “What? You were still with Demming the last I knew and…”

“We broke up right before I talked to you. I was going to tell you that night, but…”

“But Gina walked in and I walked out with her.” 

Castle wondered if this was all his fault. If he had taken two seconds to listen to her maybe they wouldn’t be standing here talking about her pregnancy. 

She nodded, “Yeah, but it’s not your fault Castle. Not really. I’d already told you no. I just thought that there was time to change my mind, but in the end things didn’t work out like that. I screwed up.”

“What happened? That night after I left?”

Walking over to her couch, she sat down and motioned for him to do the same. She sighed softly, “After you left that night I felt terrible. I’d finally come to realize that you meant something to me. What that was exactly I wasn’t sure. However, there was something there. You were more than just my partner. Was it love? I wasn’t sure, but I wanted to maybe spend some time away from the precinct to find out. Find out if what I was feeling was truly love or if it was something else.” 

“And then I left with her. What did I do?”

Shaking her head, “Nothing Castle. This wasn’t your fault. This is all on me Castle. You don’t get to blame yourself.” 

“I just feel…”

“No. You always do this Castle. None of this is your fault. The last you knew I was with Demming. I had told you no to that weekend countless times. This is NOT your fault. You have every right to be mad at me.” 

“I’m not.” 

“You should be dammit. I….”

Castle leaned over and did the one thing he could to silence her. He kissed her so very softly. When he pulled away he whispered, “I love you Kate. This doesn’t change a thing.”

Sighing, she whispered, “It’s not fair to you Castle.” 

“Let me decide what is and isn’t fair Beckett.”

Closing her eyes and felt like crying. This wasn’t her. She wasn’t weak, but with everything that has happened over the past 24 hours was very overwhelming. She finally whispered, “How can you be so forgiving Castle? You should walk away as fast as your legs can carry you.”

Her heart broke a little when she heard him say, “I should. By all rights I should stay far away from you.”

“I know there’s a but in there somewhere.” 

“But I can’t. Love doesn’t work that way Beckett.” 

She sighed and whispered, “I need time to think about everything. So much has changed. So quickly. I’m so tired Castle.”

Nodding, he leaned over and kissed her on her forehead and whispered, “Go back to bed. Sleep. It’s good for the baby.” 

She stood up and walked to him to the front door. She sighed and whispered, “You’re a good man Richard Castle. Much better than I deserve…”

He shook his head and whispered, “Let me decide that Kate. Good night….”

With that he walked out of her apartment. Leaving her with just as many questions as before. She didn’t deserve him and she didn’t deserve his love. Despite how she felt about him, she knew that she needed to protect him from her and how she would just end up hurting him. So, she made the decision that she needed to keep him at arms length. For his sake more than hers. Even though she loved him, she needed to protect him more. Needed to protect him from her and the hurt that she knew she would end up causing him in the long run……


	4. Chapter 4

Castle tried to give her space. Tried to stay away from her. Tried to give her time to decide if she wanted him to be in her life. Well, not only her life, but her baby’s life. He’d asked himself a hundred times if he could love her and her unborn baby. Was he strong enough to love a child that wasn’t his? 

Every answer came down to one simple thing. He loved her, so he could love any child she had. Regardless of whether he was that baby’s father or not. Sure, she made a mistake. He had made plenty of mistakes in the past. 

So, for the next few weeks they were in a holding pattern. Castle wanted to move forward, but Beckett wanted time and space to think about everything. He wouldn’t push her. Wouldn’t force her hand. Wouldn’t give her any kind of ultimatum. It was then that he decided that maybe she didn’t want him after all. So, he would respect her wishes. So, he put his feelings on the shelf once again. He wondered how many times he would have to do this. Maybe he should move on. Forget about her and the love he had for her. 

Sighing, he sat in his chair in his office late at night and closed his eyes. He knew that he had it bad for her, but he was honestly tired of chasing her around. He wasn’t sure he could let her go, but if she didn’t want him, he wasn’t going to fight her. So, he would put his heart on the shelf and move on. Maybe he was better off without her. 

However, when he arrived at the precinct the next morning he knew that it would be impossible. He brought her a cup of peppermint tea instead of her usual coffee. She smiled at him brightly, “Thanks Castle.” 

He shrugged and told her, “I figured you could use it.” 

She took a sip from the cup and he could have sworn that he heard her moan. He swallowed hard and turned to face the murder board. This was going to be so hard. Trying not to love her was going to be the most difficult thing he’d ever done in his life. 

Meanwhile, Beckett was starting to think that maybe, just maybe she was falling in love with Castle. He’d done what she asked. He’d given her time and space to think things through. She was twelve weeks pregnant and the morning sickness was starting to ease up. Now, she only got sick if she got out of bed before grabbing a cracker and some ginger ale first. As long as she remembered that, she seemed to be fine. 

She had been reading more and more about what was going on with the baby. He or she was now the size of a small lime. She’d spent a large amount of time reading every baby book she could get her hands on. She had a doctor’s appointment later that afternoon. 

Picking up her purse she headed towards the elevator. She smiled as she pushed the down button. The more she got used to the idea, the more excited she was becoming. Sure, she still had her doubts, but maybe, just maybe this wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Maybe having a baby would give her a bigger purpose in her life. For so many years she’d been seeking justice for her mom. She was so determined to find her moms killer that she was will to sacrifice everything else. He life. Her happiness. Her chance at love. The elevator arrived and she was no sooner inside than Castle popped inside also. 

She smiled and asked, “Do you have somewhere to be?”

He shrugged, “Not really. I just figured since you’re leaving I might as well go home and write. No sense in hanging around here.”

She looked straight ahead. Not looking at him. She bit her bottom lip and rushed to say, “I have a doctor’s appointment.” 

“Oh...Well, good luck.”

Castle didn’t want to assume anything. Didn’t want to offer to go with her. Didn’t want to put his heart on the line once again. So, he simply said what he felt. He heard the nervousness in her voice when she asked softly, “Do you….”

“Do I what?”

Beckett sighed. Damn this was hard. So, she spit it out in a rush, “Do you want to go with me?”

Castle took a few minutes to think. Did he? Did he want to put his heart out there again? Was she trying to tell him that she was ready to maybe try and build some kind of relationship with him? He wasn’t quite sure what she wanted or expected from him. Maybe it was just a friendly offer. So, he nodded and said, “I’ll go with you. If it’s important to you.”

He hard her release a huge breath and saw her nod. He would be there to support her, but he knew that’s all she wanted. Was a friendship with him. 

He was incredibly nervous when they arrived at the doctor’s office. Sitting in the waiting room, he knee was bouncing up and down. Beckett looked at him, “Would you calm down. It’s nothing to be nervous about Castle.” 

He nodded and managed to stop bouncing his leg. However, his heart rate was probably through the roof. Hed definitely had butterflies in his stomach. This was crazy. Why on earth was he nervous? It wasn’t his baby. Hell, she wasn’t even his girlfriend. They were simply friends. Partners even. So, he had no reason to be nervous.

Beckett wondered for the tenth time why she had invited Castle to come with her to this doctor’s appointment. She hadn’t really meant to, but it had just happened. So, she blurted it out before she could stop herself. When he had hesitated, she wanted to take the offer back. 

She wanted to get closer to him. Wanted to maybe build some kind of relationship with him. However, since he had kissed her she had noticed that he was pulling away from her. Only coming to the precinct when she called him to tell him there was a case. He never mentioned the kiss that they shared in her living room that night. Hadn’t told her again that he loved her.

Maybe it was a weak moment. Maybe he hadn’t actually meant it. The more that he pulled away, the more she seemed to want him close to her. So, she had invited him to this appointment with her. She had been expecting him to say no. When he said yes, she’d been pleasantly surprised.

Soon, her name was called and she stood up and headed towards the nurse and the open door. She noticed that Castle had remained seated. She turned to look at him and asked, “Are you coming?”

She watched the indecision in his eyes and he asked, “Do you want me to?”

Nodding softly, he watched as he got up to follow behind her. 

Castle wondered what he was doing. Why had he agreed to go with her to this appointment? She wasn’t his. The baby wasn’t his. He didn’t have any rights or responsibilities to either of them. However, he couldn’t seem to say no to her. He really needed to start. Either that or she had to tell him what the future held for them. Right now they were in some kind of holding pattern. Both afraid to make the first move.

He decided that she was going to have to be the one to come to him. To tell him that she wanted something more. Because if she didn’t, then they were destined to remind friends. He could do friends. He wouldn’t like it, but he would respect her wishes.

If he thought he was nervous in the waiting room, it was nothing compared to what he felt in the examination room. The nervousness had shot up to a twenty and that was on the scale of one to ten. The nurse had him wait outside while she changed into the gown. 

Once he was inside, he looked everywhere but at her. She chuckled softly and said, “It’s okay Castle. You can come over here and sit in the chair beside me.”

He shook his head and then did as she asked. Staring at the pictures on the wall made it even worse. What the hell was he doing here? Beckett was sitting on the table dressed only in a plain white gown.She put her hand on his shoulder and he nearly jumped out of his seat. He heard her laugh softly and then he chanced a look at her. When he saw the smile on her face and the twinkle in her eyes, the tension seemed to melt away. She reached out her hand and he offered her his in return. She squeezed it and started to say, “We need to….”

That was when her doctor came into the room. Effectively stopped what she was going to say. So, for the most part it was a routine appointment. At least until her doctor lifted her gown. She heard Castle huff out a breath. She chanced a look at him and saw that he was turning a thousand shades of red. She squeezed his hand softly and smiled at him. 

She had noticed it that morning. She now had a very slight, but noticeable bump. The baby was definitely making itself known. Her eyes filled with unexpected tears and she wished that the circumstances were different. 

Her doctor listened to the baby’s heartbeat through her stethoscope. She wished she could hear it. Part of her wished that Castle could hear it. Then, suddenly the same whooshing sound filled the room. For a moment it confused her, but her eyes filled with tears. She didn’t dare look at Castle. She couldn’t bear to see the disappointment in his eyes. So she stared straight up. Finally closing her eyes when the sound stopped.

When the doctor finished her exam she asked, “How had the morning sickness been?”

She smiled softly, “It’s been less intense lately. Especially if I remember to eat a cracker before getting out of bed in the morning.”

“That’s good to hear. It will probably disappear in the next week or two. Unless anything changes, I’ll see you back in a month. Everything appears to be on track. Your weight gain is good. So, unless you have any other questions, you can get up and get dressed.” 

Nodding, she felt Castle let go of her hand and watched as he walked out the door. She went to get dressed and sighed. They’d had a moment. She’d heard his wonder at hearing the baby’s heartbeat. She had made a complete and utter mess of her life. Of her baby’s life. The worst part was that she didn’t really see any way that their relationship could recover from it. After getting dressed she stood behind the curtain and let the tears fall…..

Meanwhile, Castle was standing out in the hallway waiting for her to come out. He had thought that he could remain indifferent to everything. What he hadn’t anticipated was how his heart would react when he heard her baby’s heartbeat.

Before, the concept of her having a baby had been only an abstract thing. Now however, it was suddenly, very, very real. He didn’t think that he would be able to stand on the sidelines anymore. He didn’t know if he could remain distant and aloof anymore. Hell, he wanted nothing more than to be there for everything going forward. Did it make him weak? Probably. Did it make him a sucker? Definitely. Did it make him a man in love? Without a doubt.

Beckett managed to stop crying and get back to normal. At least back to semi-normal. She emerged outside and saw Castle standing there. He looked deep in thought. She wondered what on earth he was thinking about. She knew in that moment that they needed to talk. 

So, as they were leaving the doctors office, she looked over at him and said, “Can I treat you to lunch?”

“At Remy’s? I can pay you know?.” 

Shaking her head she told him, “My treat. I invited you so…”

Castle simply nodded and they got a cab and headed to Remy’s. She sighed and they both looked out their windows. Neither speaking despite their being so much to say. When the cab pulled up, they both got out and headed inside. Once they were seated and they ordered their food.  
They simply looked at one another for the longest time. Then, Beckett smiled and told him softly, “Thank you for coming with me today. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem. I’m glad you asked me.”

“Look Rick, we really need to talk.” 

“We do.” 

Taking a deep breath, she finally said, “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking during the last month. I’m still not sure how all of this is going to work out. I’m still very confused about everything and I’m not exactly sure that you can really love me.”

Castle reached across the table and took her hand. Taking a deep breath he told her softly, “I’ve loved you for a long time Katherine Beckett. For longer than I’ve been willing to admit….”

She squeezed his hand and nodded, “I think that’s how it was for me. I just don’t want to risk our friendship. What if….what if this doesn’t work? There’s just no me to consider.” She put her hand on her stomach and whispered, “We will have this whole new little person to consider. What if it doesn’t work out? How are we going to handle that? If…”

Castle whispered, “If we wonder and wait for it to end, we will be too afraid to start. I for one am wanting to give this a shot.”

“But…”

“Even if we crash and burn I will still be there for your child. I might suck at being a good husband, but I’m pretty good at being a father. Just ask Alexis. Look Kate, I know that things won’t be perfect. There will be people questioning our motives. People wondering if we are right for each other. I for one don’t care what anyone else thinks. I just want a chance to love you.” He took his free hand and put it on her stomach above her clothes and whispered, “A chance to love both of you.”

Beckett knew how crazy this was. Knew that she should probably say no. However, everything within her was telling her to go for it. To give him, this a shot. So, despite that, she leaned over and kissed him softly on the cheek and told him, “I’d like that also Richard Castle….”

Castle turned to her and captured her lips once again and kissed her softly. Neither one caring that their food was getting cold….


	5. Chapter 5

Castle walked her home that night and he reached over and took her hand in his. He gave it a soft squeeze and smiled hesitantly at her. You would think he was a teenager on his first date. Kate thought it was sweet.   
So, she squeezed it in return. Then she said softly, “I’m not sure what the future will bring Castle. I don’t know why you want to love me, but…”

“But?”

“I’d like that. I’m just sorry that I did what I did. That I fell into bed with the first man to come along after…”

Castle turned and put his finger on her lips and whispered, “Don’t Kate. We are both to blame.” 

Shaking her head she knew that it was time for her to take the lions share of the responsibility for everything that had happened, “No. I want to blame everything on you. It would be so easy. It’s what I’ve done all this time. Tried to say that it was because you left and went to the Hamptons with Gina. The truth is, I didn’t give you any reason to think there was a future for us. I’d told you no. Not just once, but twice.”

“I…”

“Just listen to me Castle.” She waited for him to nod, and then she continued, “All this time I’ve been telling myself that this whole mess is your fault. It’s not. It’s…. It’s mine Castle and to stand here and blame you for everything….That’s just dishonest and unfair to you. I’m an adult Castle and it’s time I start acting like it…”

Castle just stood there looking at her. When she was quiet for a few seconds, he finally asked, “Are you done?”

“I-I think so.”

“Good. Because it really doesn’t matter to me whose fault it is. I just want to know one thing and I want an honest answer.” 

Nodding, she smiled, “Okay.” 

“Do you love me at all?”

Did she love him? That was the thousand dollar question. She liked him as more than a friend. She wanted to get to know him as so much more. So, she answered him honestly, “I do love you Castle and I’m honestly tired of fighting it Castle. I’ve spent my entire adult life running from relationships that might get too serious. I want more and I want it with you. And don’t think that I’m just saying this because of the baby. It has nothing to do with that. I loved you before this whole mess started. I want time to gain your trust back Castle.I’ll do whatever it takes to prove to you that I’m deserving of you love. Deserving of your heart.”  
She heard him release a breath and she smiled as he hugged her softly. She closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of him. It was in that moment that she believed that she could fall in love with this man. She didn’t want to think too far into the future. She just wanted to think about the here and now. He loved her and she was in love with him. He pulled her close to him and hugged her softly. She laid her head on his shoulder and sighed softly. 

She looked up at him and whispered, “I just wish….”

“What? What do you wish?”

She took his hand and laid it on her stomach and whispered, “I wish, with my whole heart that this baby was yours. I made a stupid mistake and….”

“Shhh… You made a mistake, but you can’t go back now Kate.I’m going to love this baby like he or she was my own. Simply because it’s part of you….”

She touched his face softly and whispered, “I don’t deserve you Richard Castle.”

He shrugged softly and told her, “You might be right, but you’re stuck with me. I’ll be by your side for as long as you will have me.”

Beckett sighed and kissed his cheek softly. Then she turned and took his hand and they started walking towards her apartment. She was honestly tired of fighting it. Tired of keeping him at arms length simply because she was afraid. She was tired of being afraid. She was an adult now and it was time she started acting like it.Time she stopped running from this thing that has been between them for awhile now.

When they got to her apartment Castle wanted to come inside, but he knew that they needed to take things slow. So, he simply leaned down and kissed her softly. She returned the kiss and whispered, “Wow…”

Castle smiled, “Yeah. Wow.”

“I’ll see you in the morning? At the precinct?”

“I’ll be there bright and early. Good night.” 

That’s when Castle did something that brought tears to her eyes. He got down on his knees and leaned in front of her stomach. She put her hands on his head and she could feel his lips moving, but couldn’t make out the words. She was sure if she could, it would have brought tears to her eyes.

When he stood up, she asked, “Are you going to tell me what…”  
Shaking his head, “Nope. That’s between me and the bambino….”

“Really? Bambino? What if it’s a girl?”

“Well, then bambina?”

She laughed and shook her head. This man was something else. She wasn’t sure that she deserved his love, but she knew that she would do whatever it took to earn it. She owed it to him and she owed it to herself. 

Kissing him on the cheek she whispered, “Goodnight Rick.” 

He smiled softly and kissed her softly. Then he flashed her a bright smile and turned and left her building. 

She went into her apartment and smiled brightly to herself.She practically danced around the room. She hadn’t been this happy in a long time. Undressing she put her hand on her stomach and whispered to her baby, “We are so lucky little one. I’m going to do everything I can to prove to him that I’m worth loving. I didn’t believe it before, but I’m starting to….”

She found herself believing this. Now more than ever. She walked towards the bathroom and then she stopped in her tracks. She felt a fluttering in her stomach and she put her hand on her stomach. She’d read about this and she wondered if the baby was making itself known. It went away after a few seconds. She hurried to her phone and sent him a quick text: I think I felt the baby moving.

His response was quick in coming: I’m so jealous. Get some sleep and I’ll see you in the morning. Love you.

Kate laughed when she read his text. She sent him on final text: Love you too. She was surprised to find that it was one hundred percent true. She shook her head softly and smiled. He was a crazy, silly man and for whatever reason they were falling in love with one another. Despite everything working against them. Despite her being pregnant with another man’s baby, he loved her. I was crazy and it definitely wasn’t rational, but it was what it was and she was going to embrace it for all that it was worth. 

For the first time since she had discovered she was pregnant, she slept like a baby and it felt so good…...


	6. Chapter 6

Waking up the next morning, Beckett got out of bed and hurried to the bathroom. She desperately needed to go to the bathroom. She was half asleep and turned the light on. She smiled when she sat down and felt the baby move once again. It was soft and very light. It kind of felt like tiny butterflies in her stomach. She put her hand on her stomach and wished that she could feel it every single second of the day. It was the best feeling in the world. The next thing she noticed was that she was hungry. For the first time in weeks she didn’t feel like she was going to be sick the moment her feet hit the floor. 

She decided that she was going to make something for breakfast. She padded out to her kitchen and that’s when she heard a knock on her door. She walked over to the door and smiled when she saw who was standing there.

Opening the door she smiled, “Morning Castle.”

He smiled brightly and hurried inside her living room. She noticed that he was carrying a bag and a tray with two cups. Her mouth watered and she asked, “What’s in the bag?”

Smiling, he told her, “I brought you a bear claw.” 

“And the cup?”

He smiled and told her, “Well, since the doctor said you can have moderate amounts of caffeine I brought you cup of coffee.”

Looking at him Beckett was amazed. This man was incredibly thoughtful and caring. She wondered what in the world she had done to deserve him. She grabbed for the bag and the cup of coffee that he extended to her. She moaned softly as she took a drink of the coffee and she closed her eyes. Castle laughed softly, “I had a feeling that you would be craving the coffee this morning.”

Nodding she smiled, “I have been every single morning. Don’t get me wrong, I love the tea, but the coffee is amazing. Thank you so much Castle.”

Smiling Castle nodded, “You’re welcome Beckett. Are you ready?”

She took the bear claw out of the bag and took a bite from it. She moaned at the sweetness of the pastry. It was amazing how well he knew her eating habits. He was definitely a very observant of everything about her. She looked at him in awe and whispered, “I need to get dressed. I don’t think I can get away with going to the precinct in my night clothes.”

Laughing, Castle went into the kitchen and smiled when he saw the ultrasound picture on the refrigerator. He had a similar one in his office. It was hidden in his desk drawer. Away from the prying eyes of his family. He knew that Alexis wouldn’t understand his wanting to be in the baby’s life. A baby that didn’t share any of his DNA. He couldn’t explain it. Couldn’t explain why he continued to stick around. The only explanation he had was that he was in love with Beckett. In love with her so much that he was willing to stick around and help her in anyway she would allow. He was hoping that he would be allowed to be more to both her and their baby.  
Wow. Their baby. Where did that come from? Some part of him knew that he wanted children with her. If he had anything to say about it this baby wouldn’t be the last for her. He loved her so much that it hurt. He could see that she was letting him in. A little bit at a time. Bit by bit he was working his way into her heart. He wouldn’t force himself on her, but he would make her see that she could trust him with her heart. She could also trust him with her unborn baby’s life.

Neither of them could imagine what the day held in store for them when they got to the precinct. They were called to the scene of a murder at Grand Central Terminal. Checking his ID, he was quickly identified and he was sent to the morgue. 

When they got back they went to see Lanie. Their friend looked extremely nervous. She looked at her friend and Lanie swallowed hard. She told her friend, “This is one of the strangest cases I’ve ever seen. I was able to recover the bullets.”

Beckett looked at her, “And that’s a good thing. Right?”

Lanie swallowed and told her, “Well, it would be, but….”

Beckett swallowed, “But?”

“Well, there are letters engraved on the bullets.” 

They saw the letters, I,K,K,I and N. Castle arranged them and they spelled out Nikki. Castle said, “Okay. That is odd.”

Lanie nodded, “Odd is a mild way to put it. What does it mean though?”

Beckett shook her head, “I have no idea.”

Then, before they knew it, they got a call about another case. This time they were met by an agent from the FBI. She completely shut down their investigation. Beckett sighed and shook her head. What irritated her most was the way that Castle seemed to hang on every word that the Agent said. It was Agent Shaw this and Agent Shaw that. It seriously irritated Beckett more than she wanted to admit. Then the body turned up missing. Great. Could this case get any stranger? 

Castle showed up at her house later that evening. She was still annoyed at him for hanging onto Shaw’s every word. She was half tempted to not let him in. However, she knew that if she didn’t, he would stay out there all night. So, she threw open the door and asked, “What?”

He held up a bag from her favorite bakery and the Chinese restaurant down the street. He smiled brightly at her and said, “I come bearing food!!”

She practically growled at him and asked, “what? You aren’t going to share it with her.”  
Castle was confused and finally asked, “With who?”

She spit out harshly, “Agent Shaw. I figured you’d spend the night with her. Going over the case…”

He looked at her, “What did I do?”

She sighed, “Nothing. I’m just upset because…”

He looked at her, “Why?”

“Because you’re building theory with her. You’re supposed to do that with me. Not her.”

Castle could hear the jealousy in her voice. Smiling he told her, “I just got caught up in everything. You know I’m on your team.” 

Sighing, she sat back while he unpacked the bags. Her mouth was watering and she was extremely hungry. She rested her hands on her stomach and smiled as she watched him. She signed and knew that she was being silly, but she was pregnant and she felt like she was getting fatter and fatter and maybe, just maybe Agent Shaw was just interesting enough to pull him away from her. 

Apparently he could read her face and he said, “She’s not nearly as interesting as you are. You do know that right?”

She swallowed hard and shrugged, “I doubt it sometimes. She’s in the FBI. That’s a step up from what I do.” 

“So. Not interested in her. I mean, I might base a minor character on her, but she doesn’t stand a chance with me. Besides, I’m enraptured with someone else.” 

Beckett blushed and looked down at the floor. Then she asked, “Do you want some wine? I can’t have any, but that’s no reason for you to not drink.” 

Castle shook his head and went for the fridge and grabbed the milk jug. He shook it and said, “Milk does the body good. Plus it’s good for the baby.” 

Beckett laughed and shook her head. This man never ceased to amaze her and she was slowly, but surely falling in love with him. One moment at a time. One day at a time. With everything he did he was showing her that he loved her and she found herself wanting to bask in the light of that love…..

And yes, I know Tick, Tick and Boom was set in Season 2, but in this story it’s a bit later. This is AU after all….


	7. Chapter 7

They had a great time eating dinner than night. Afterwards though, Beckett was tired and she told Castle, “I had fun, but I’m exhausted. Thank you for coming over and for the food.”

She walked over to the door and she expected him to follow, however, he simply stood next to the couch and told her, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Really?”

“Yes really. There’s a madman out there and he’s threatening you. I’m not going to leave you alone.” 

She sighed softly, “I can take care of myself Castle. I….”

He nodded, “I know you can, but call me overprotective, call me a male chauvinist, but we aren’t just talking about you anymore Beckett.”

Putting her hand on her stomach she nodded. In the past she would have brushed off his thoughtfulness. Now however, she knew that she had to consider someone else. So, she nodded and turned to him, “Fine. You can spend the night, but just so you know, I sleep with a gun.”

Castle smiled and nodded, “Duly noted Detective Beckett.”

Before walking into her bedroom she did something that he didn’t expect. She walked towards him and kissed him on the lips. Before they knew it, the kiss deepened and Beckett moaned softly. When they separated, Beckett was breathing hard and she whispered, “Wow….I…

Castle smiled, “Yeah. I feel it Kate.”

She nodded and looked into his eyes. Part of her wanted to grab his hand and take him into her bedroom and spend the entire night making love to him. Instead, she whispered, “Night Castle.”

Castle smiled and he watched as she walked into her bedroom and smiled. He laid on the couch and made himself comfortable. Tonight had went better than he had expected. He could feel something special happening between them. 

He laid down on her couch and couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face. 

Waking the next morning, Beckett smiled as she got out of bed. She knew that it had been impulsive to kiss Castle like she had, but she didn’t regret it. She could never regret something that felt so right. She knew that she loved Castle. That much she knew. However, there was still something holding her back. Some deep seeded part of her brain was keeping her from admitting the love she felt for the man that was now laying on her couch.

After she dressed for the day, she walked out of her bedroom and was surprised to smell pancakes cooking. She smiled at Castle and asked, “Pancakes? You didn’t have to cook breakfast for me Castle.” 

Smiling he shook his head, “Well, I didn’t necessarily cook just for you.”

Laughing, she asked, “You didn’t?”

“Nope. I needed to eat and well….”

“Well what?”

“The baby needs food and judging by the looks of your fridge you’ve been relying on take out.”

“I can cook Castle.”

“I’m not saying that you can’t. I just like cooking for people.”

She smiled at him and he took the last pancake off the griddle. Then, he went to go get the paper and as he opened the door, the missing body fell into her apartment. They looked at each other and she picked up her phone and called Ryan and Esposito. 

In the end, the person that they thought was responsible for the murders killed himself inside his apartment. Before the FBI could get into his apartment. They saw him from the street holding a gun in his left hand. The next thing they knew, a shot rang out and he was dead. 

After searching is apartment, they found a recording of his voice saying, “Goodbye Nikki.” They thought it was strange, but the case was solved. They also found some extremely powerful explosives. Enough to blow up the entire precinct. Luckily they had stopped it in time. 

Castle thought that it was solved a little too easily. So, he was looking over the case photos. Something just didn’t add up to him. He soon figured out what it was. When they say him with the gun, it was in his left hand, however, the man lying in the morgue was right handed. That meant that they hadn’t caught the killer. No, the man was another victim of the same killer. The thought caused his blood to run cold. 

He tried to call her, but she wasn’t answering her phone.So, he told his mom to call Captain Montgomery and tell him that Beckett was in danger. He took off out of his apartment and hurried to her apartment. He tried to call her as he ran. However, she wasn’t picking up the phone. Of all the times for her to not answer the phone this had to be the worst of them. 

When she finally picked up the phone she sounded annoyed. He managed to choke out, “Conrad wasn’t the killer. The killer is still alive.” 

Beckett heard beeps and then, “Goodbye Nikki.…”

Outside, Castle watched as the floor her apartment was on erupt in flames.

In that single moment, Castle felt as if he’d lost everything. Maybe she was able to escape.So, he hurried to her floor and called out, “Beckett?”

Everything in her apartment was on fire. The smoke was thick and he wondered if he would find her dead in her apartment. When he got to her door, he wasn’t surprised that it was locked. He knew that he needed to break the door down. So, he hit it as hard and he could. Which resulted in him falling onto the floor. He whispered, “Ouch. Ow, ow….”

He called out her name again, “Katet!! Ouch…. Kate?”

He walked further into the apartment and finally heard her coughing Finding her in the bathroom, he said, “You’re alive and oh, you’re naked.” 

“Castle! Don’t look.”

“I’m not looking.”

“You’re peeking. I know you are.” 

Castle sighed in frustration and told her, “I really think that should be the least of your worries right now Beckett. Honestly I would think your modesty would go out the window when your apartment is burning down around you.”

“Really?”

He knew that if he could see her face he would see that she was rolling her eyes at him. He was searching for something that wasn’t on fire that she could cover herself in. He asked, “Do you have anything that isn’t flammable? Everything is burning here.”

There was nothing that wasn’t on fire. He finally took off his jacket and turned to hand it to her. 

He nearly laughed when she said again, “Quit looking.” 

“I’m not looking. Well, other than looking for something that isn’t burning in here. I’ll tell you again, this definitely isn’t a time for you to be modest.” 

Beckett laughed despite the situation, “It’s gotta be killing you.”

“What is?” 

She laughed and told him, “The fact that you can’t brag about breaking down my door.” 

He shook his head and told her, “That was the least of my concerns to be honest Kate.”

She smiled and told him, “I can picture about a thousand ways how there could be a better way for you to see me without my clothes on and…”

That was when she stopped and put her hand on her stomach. A pain shot through her and it made Castle stop and ask, “What’s wrong? Are you in pain?”

Castle saw the look of pain on her face and she told him, “I had to dive into the tub just as the bomb went off.I might have hit my stomach on the side of the tub. I think…” She swallowed hard, “I think something is wrong with the baby….”

That was when he picked her up and carried her out of her apartment and down the stairs.He didn’t listen to her protests. Didn’t care that she was telling him to put her down. All he cared about was making sure that she and the baby were both okay. He noticed a waiting paramedic and said, “She needs to be checked out. She’s twelve weeks pregnant and she’s having pains….”

That was all he got out before the paramedic motioned for him to put her in the back of the ambulance to be checked over by the paramedics…..


	8. Chapter 8

The paramedics checked her out and they decided that she needed to go to the hospital. She needed to be checked out by a doctor. They tried to get Castle to wait, but she refused to go without him. Begged them to allow him to ride with them. Seeing that she was getting more upset by the moment, the paramedics allowed him to sit beside her. 

She held his hand the entire time. Squeezing it whenever a pain hit her. He raised her hand to his mouth and kissed it softly. He could see the tears in her eyes and he whispered softly to her, “It will be fine sweetheart. The baby will be okay.” 

He heard her whisper softly, “You can’t know that Castle.”

She knew that she hadn’t wanted the baby at first. Now however, she loved this child with her whole heart and it would kill her if she lost it. She couldn’t stop the tears. Couldn’t stop thinking about how stupid she had been. Yes, there was a bomb in her apartment. She should have been more careful. She was berating herself in her head. If she lost this baby it was all her fault. 

Closing her eyes tightly every time she felt a pain, she whispered a silent prayer. A prayer for her baby. 

After what seemed like years, they finally arrived at the hospital. The paramedics rushed her out of the ambulance. Leaving Castle standing there staring after her. 

He walked into the hospital slowly and found his way to the nurses station. He told the first nurse he saw, “My partner was just brought in by ambulance. She’s pregnant and she’s having pains and…”

The nurse smiled at her and asked, “Her name?”

Castle smiled and told her, “Katherine Beckett.” 

“And you are you?”

“I’m her partner and... “

“I’m sorry, but we can’t release any information to you. Unless she allows us to…”

Knowing that he had to do something drastic, he finally blurted out, “I’m her finace and the father of her baby.”

He knew that it was a little white lie, but he was desperate at that point.

The nurse nodded and pointed him towards the waiting room. He found himself sitting there waiting for any word on her condition. Castle sent Alexis a text letting her know what had happened and that they had taken Beckett to the hospital. 

After about three hours Castle heard, “Katherine Beckett’s family?”

Castle popped up and said, “I’m here!!”

The doctor smiled at Castle and said, “I’m happy to report that Ms. Beckett is doing just fine.”

“The baby?”

Nodding, he said, “It appears that the baby is fine.”

“What about the pains she was having?”

“It was a bit of bruising caused by the fall into the tub. She has a nasty bruised on her hip from the fall in the tub. It wasn’t actually because of the baby.” 

“We both assumed…”

“That’s natural. Now, if you would like to go see her I can take you back.” 

“Please?”

Nodding the doctor turned and headed towards her room. She was laying on the bed with her hand on her stomach. Feeling where the baby was still safely nestled inside her body. He could see that she had been crying and he felt so bad for her. Bad that he couldn’t be there for her. He walked up beside her and leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. She looked up at him and smiled, “I’m sorry.”

“Whatever for?”

“For overreacting. For panicking. For…”

Castle shook his head, “Don’t. It’s not your fault. You’re already such a great mom. Any baby would be lucky to have you as their mother. You didn’t know that there wasn’t anything wrong sweetheart.”

She took his hand and squeezed it tightly, “I have no idea what I’m doing most of the time Castle. This baby isn’t lucky Castle. He or she is doomed…”

Laughing, Castle shook his head, “Not doomed. Very, very lucky.”

“Yeah. Lucky and now we don’t have anywhere to live. My apartment just blew to smithereens…..”

“You have a place to live. It’s in a secure building and I have an extra room. “

“I can’t ask you to do that Castle. I…”

“You’re not asking. I volunteered. I insist. Let me take care of you both. At least for now Kate. Until we find the madman doing this…”

She knew that this wasn’t a fight that she was going to win. Plus, she didn’t have anywhere else to go. She finally nodded, “Okay, but only because we don’t have anyplace else to go.”

“You will always have a place with me.” 

“Shouldn’t you ask your mother and Alexis how they feel about having me there.”

“Why? They both like you.”

“Things are a bit more complicated now Castle.”

“Because of the baby.” 

Nodding Kate said, “Exactly. The baby that’s not yours. We aren’t even a couple yet Castle and…”

“And we are working towards becoming more.Trust me, they love you Kate.”

He sat down beside her bed and held her hand. He smiled when the door open and his mother and daughter walked in. They rushed over to where Kate was lying in the bed and both women fawned over her. 

Martha asked her softly, “Are you okay? Richard told us that you apartment blew up.”

Nodding slowly Kate told his mother, “It did. Luckily he saved us.”

Martha and Alexis did a double take and Martha asked, “Us?” Who else was there with you.”

That was when she realized that Castle hadn’t told either of them about the baby. She sighed and put her hand on her stomach and told his mother and daughter, “I’m pregnant.”

She heard Alexis gasp and Martha whispered, “Oh dear. Is the baby okay?”

Nodding, Beckett smiled, “It is. They brought me here because I was having pains and….”

She couldn’t go, the tears threatening to choke her. It was still very fresh in her mind causing Castle finished for her, “She dove into the tub and apparently she hit her hip. That was causing the pains.”

Martha took Beckett’s hand in hers and squeezed it softly. Then she said, “I’m so glad that both of you are okay. If you need anything please let me know.”

Nodding, Beckett smiled, “I will.”

Castle interjected, “Actually, we are going to let her live with us for awhile.”

Beckett said quickly, “Only until I can find a new place to live.”

It was then that Alexis spoke up, “You can live with us for as long as you need to. We have the room.” 

She hadn’t expected that Alexis would be the one to insist she live with them. She swallowed and said, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. We care about you Kate.”

Nodding, Martha agreed with her granddaughter, “Exactly. We care about you and the baby Katherine.”

Castle smiled and told her, “Thank you mother, Pumpkin. Kate and I appreciate it.” 

Alexis told them, “We will fix up the guest room for you.” Looking at her dad she asked, “When are you bringing her home?”

“I’ll let you know. I’ll call you when we know that they are going to release her. It should be later this evening.”

Kate reached for Martha’s hand and gave it a squeeze. Then she whispered, “Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. You as well Alexis. You can’t begin to imagine how much this means to me.”

That was when the tears started. She hated that she was so emotional right now. Between everything that had happened that day and the pregnancy, her emotions were all over the place. His family had no reason to be this kind to her. She should have known that they would be. Martha had raised Castle and Castle had raised Alexis. This family was amazing and she was starting to fall more in love with all of them. 

They only stayed for about ten minutes before the women left. Each of them kissing her on the cheek. When they left, Beckett whispered, “I wasn’t expecting them to be so nice. Especially since this baby isn’t yours and…”

Castle smiled, “They love you Beckett. I love you. The baby is part of you Beckett….”

Smiling up at him she knew she had tears in her eyes and simply nodded. She took his hand and held it up against her cheek. She knew that she fell a little more in love with him in that moment. She looked into his eyes and whispered, “I’m falling for you Rick….”

He leaned down and kissed the top of her head, “I’m already in love with you Beckett. It’s just taking you a little longer to catch up with me.” 

She laughed softly and nodded, “I think I’m getting there Castle.” 

He leaned down and touched his forehead to hers and whispered, “Good. I’m hoping that you’ll see that we can be so good together.”

Closing her eyes she simply nodded and she knew that she was so close to falling for the man standing beside her…..


	9. Chapter 9

Beckett was released from the hospital late the next morning. Since the majority of her clothing had been destroyed in the explosion, Caste had gone out and bought her some new clothes. 

After she was dressed, she told him softly, “I will pay you back for this.” 

Shaking his head he smiled and said, “Not necessary. I’m glad to do it.”

She just stared at him as he checked the room to see if she had left anything of hers behind. She wondered, not for the first time, what she had done to deserve such kind treatment from him. She knew that he had every reason to turn and walk away from her. She had known for awhile how he had felt about her, but she’d been too afraid of him hurting her to trust him. 

So, she had stayed away from him. Despite wanting him so very badly. Then she made the awful mistake of sleeping with another man. Not only sleeping with him, but getting pregnant by said man. For any other man that would have been enough to send him running in the opposite direction. Far away from her and another man’s baby. She was quickly learning that Richard Castle was unlike any other man she had ever met in her life. 

She knew that she didn’t deserve him and maybe she was still waiting for the other shoe to drop, but she decided that she would take his love for as long as he was willing to give it. She also made a promise to herself that she would return his love.

Beckett knew that she wasn’t paying attention when she heard him ask, “Beckett? Are you okay?”

Nodding she smiled at him, “Yeah. Just thinking.”

Smiling, he told her, “I think we are ready to go.” 

She noticed that he was standing in front of a wheelchair. She shook her head, “I’m not riding in that.” 

“I don’t think you really have a choice. Nurse Ratchett says that it’s hospital policy. I guess they don’t want you falling on your face here. Because then they would have to take you back inside and it would mean more boring time here.”

She laughed at him and shook her head, “Anything but that. I’m ready to go home.”

“Even if it isn’t your home…”

“Yeah. I’m sorry to impose on you and your family….”

Shaking his head Castle told her softly, “Don’t be. Mother and Alexis are happy to have you there. Apparently they’ve already set up the guest bedroom for you.” 

She felt bad and told him, “They shouldn’t have gone to all that trouble. I…”

Castle held up his hand and told her, “It wasn’t that much trouble. They just mostly changed the sheets on the bed since we don’t have company staying over that often. They wanted to make sure it was, as Mother said, fresh smelling and clean. We can’t have Katherine staying in a room that smells like old feet.” 

Beckett laughed and rolled her eyes, “I’ve been to your loft. I would find it hard to believe that anything would smell bad there.” 

“You would be surprised. There was one time when Alexis was little. She had a basket of easter eggs. Well, she was supposed to keep them in the fridge. Well… She decided that she wanted to keep them under her bed. It took me forever to figure out what smelled so bad.”

Beckett laughed, “Sweet little Alexis did that?”

Laughing Castle nodded, “Oh she did. She refused to tell me that she did it. She said that the Easter Bunny must have left them there.”

Beckett was laughing hysterically at this point. She put her hands on her stomach and threw her head back, “That doesn’t sound like Alexis.” 

“She was devious when she was little. See what you have to look forward to?”

Nodding, she took a deep breath and whispered, “You’re such a good father. I don’t….”

“You don’t what?”

“I don’t know if I can do this by myself. I….”

He knelt down in front of her and took her hand and whispered, “You’re not doing it alone. Remember? I’ll be here for you whenever you need me.”

She looked him in the eyes and asked, “Why are you doing this Rick? People are going to think you’re crazy or stupid or a bit of both.” 

Castle shrugged his shoulders and told her softly, “People have been thinking that for years now Beckett. There are very few people whose opinion actually matters to me. Alexis’, Mother’s.” Then he added very quietly, “Yours….”

She ran her hands through his hair and sighed heavily, “I don’t deserve you Castle. Loving me is one thing, but loving another man’s baby? That’s kind of insane…”

Shrugging his shoulders, Castle smiled, “What can I say? I’ve never been accused of being normal before. Why break that winning streak now?”

“I just don’t want the tabloids to get wind of this and drag you through the mud. They’ve always had a field day with you. I don’t want them to…”

He leaned forward and kissed her softly. She forgot what she was trying to say and simply allowed herself to feel. She closed her eyes and moaned softly at the feel of his lips on hers. She put her hands around his neck and got lost in the kiss. They forgot everything else except how wonderful it felt to be kissing each other.

They only pulled apart when they heard someone clearing their throat. They broke apart slowly and Beckett looked up and saw a nurse standing there. The woman was smiling and said, “I’m sorry for interrupting the moment, but I have your discharge papers. I can come back if you want.”

Beckett reached out for the papers, “No!! Give them to me!”

Castle smiled at her reaction. Then he looked at the nurse and said, “I think she’s anxious to get out of here.” 

Nodding, the nurse smiled at them, “The doctor wants you to see your doctor at the first opportunity. Just to make sure everything is okay with the baby.”

Beckett listened to the nurse and she knew that Castle was taking notes in his head. Whatever she missed, she knew he would remember. She loved that about him. That’s when it hit her. She loved him. She really and truly loved this man. Not as just as an annoying writer tag along, but romantically. How hadn’t she seen and realized this before the summer when everything went to hell? When she told him no about going with him and Alexis to the Hamptons. Everything seemed so much clearer now.

She sighed and that caused Castle and the nurse to look at her. She shook her head at their look and told them, “I’m fine.” 

The truth however, was she was anything but fine. She was heartbroken. She could have changed everything. Her. All this time she had blamed Castle. It was his fault for leaving with Gina. It was his fault for being a womanizer. Now she was starting to realize that it wasn’t all on him. She was just as equally responsible. She should have told him yes to going to the Hamptons with him. She wouldn’t be in this position now. 

She was brought out of that thought when she felt the baby move. She put her hand on her stomach and closed her eyes. She opened them when she heard Castle ask, “Are you ready to go?”

Nodding, she stood up and went to walk out the door. She heard Castle say, “Uh Beckett. Your chariot awaits.” 

Beckett rolled her eyes, “Fine. Don’t think I don’t know how much you’re enjoying this.” 

“Me? Enjoying this? Nope. I’m just helping you to follow the rules. I know how big of a rule follower you are.” 

The nurse smiled, “Is he always this charming?”

In the past, she would have made a sarcastic remark. Today however, she simply said, “More or less.”

She knew that she had surprised him when she felt the wheelchair stop and start suddenly. She looked up at him and smiled and he returned her smile, but said nothing. 

Their was a car waiting for them when they got to the exit. Beckett smiled and went to open the door. Castle hurried in front of her and swatted her hand away. Then he opened the door and said, “Your carriage awaits my lady.”

Rolling her eyes and laughed and got into the car. She watched as he thanked the nurse and then hurried to his side of the car. She leaned back and closed her eyes and smiled when he said to the driver, “Home James.” 

Rolling her eyes all Beckett could do was laugh softly to herself.

When they pulled up to his building, she sighed and opened her door. Castle met her on her side and asked, “Ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be. Are you sure this is okay?”

Castle simply nodded and took her arm and led her into the building. She had no way of knowing what awaited her when they got into his loft….


	10. Chapter 10

Alexis and Martha had gone all out to welcome Kate to the loft. When they arrived at the loft. After leaving the hospital, they hurried home to get the guest room for Kate. Because it had been awhile since they’d had overnight guests.

So, they washed the sheets and the bedspread. Making sure that they smelled good when she arrived. Not only that, but they had prepared a big meal for them to eat. Because, they knew how terrible hospital food could be. 

Alexis and Martha were waiting nervously for them to arrive. Martha looked at her granddaughter and noticed that she was bouncing on her feet. She could tell that she was excited. She kept herself busy with arranging the different dishes on the table. All the while keeping her eye on their front door. 

When they heard the knock on the door, they rushed over to meet Castle and Beckett. If Alexis was excited before, she was even more excited now. She rushed over to hug her father and then she turned to hug his partner. 

Castle watched the exchange with a smile on his face. However, the smile quickly changed when he saw the look on her face. He knew it was impossible, but her face had turned an awful shade of green. She turned to ask him where the nearest bathroom was. Before she could get the words out however, she proceeded to get sick all over her partner. To say that she was embarrassed would have been an understatement.

She managed to ask him softly, “Bathroom?”  
Castle laughed, “Isn’t it a little late for that?”

However, he led her to the bathroom down the hall and he asked, “do we need to take the food away?”

Shaking her head, “I think I’ll be fine. I….”

She ran and opened the lid on the toilet. She lost what little was left in her stomach. Then she said, “I’m going to die. I really thought this was over with.”

Laughing, Castle said, “You aren’t going to die Beckett. The baby just doesn’t like food right now.”

“You think? Seriously, I should just go and find somewhere else to stay. I can’t expect you to never cook again while I’m here.”

“It’s fine. We can find you some bland foods. Try them one at a time so we can see if the baby likes them. At least until your stomach settles.” 

“I’ll just stay here and pray to the porcelain god…”

After a few minutes, her stomach seemed to settle and she looked at Castle and said, “I’m horrified to go back out there. They must think their cooking is terrible and…”

Castle smiled, “It’s okay. They are okay with it. Mother is just concerned. At least you got sick before you tried her cooking. She would have taken it personally otherwise.” 

Apparently the other ladies were standing outside the bathroom because they heard, “I’ll have you know that my cooking isn’t that bad Richard!”

“Seriously. The woman burns water. How do you burn water?”

Kate giggled and shook her head. Castle asked, “Do you think you’ll be okay to go out there and try some of the food? We will start slowly with something bland and work your way up to the more adventurous stuff.” 

Nodding, Beckett took his hand and he helped her off of the bathroom floor. She smiled at him softly and whispered, “Thanks. Just nothing with tomatoes in it.”

When they emerged from the bathroom, Martha looked very concerned and asked, “Are you okay? Should we not have cooked?”

Beckett smiled at Martha and said, “It’s fine. I thought I was over the majority of the morning sickness. I’m hungry, though apparently the baby has other ideas.”

Taking her by the arm, Martha led her into the kitchen while Alexis stayed behind with her dad. Castle could tell that his daughter had questions and he would do his best to answer them. He pulled her into his bedroom and asked, “Okay. I can tell that you have questions.” 

“No...I-I’m fine dad. I...”

Castle gave her his sternest dad look, “Alexis. I know you better than that. I know you have to have questions about all of this.” 

He heard Alexis sigh softly and then she turned to look and make sure that they were truly alone. Finally, she said, “I just….”

“Pumpkin, you know that you can talk to me. You can ask me anything.” 

Nodding, Alexis said, “I know that you’ve liked Detective Beckett for a long time now. I just…”

He could tell that she was afraid of asking him something. Seeing him smile at her, she managed to blurt out, “Is her baby yours?”

Castle smiled at her and shook his head, “You’re right about the fact that I love her. I have ever since I met her. It’s probably one of the reasons I’m following her. However, the baby isn’t mine.”

He could see her deflate and her shoulders slumped, “Oh….”

“Are you disappointed?”

Shrugging, Alexis told her father, “Maybe. I’ve always wanted a brother or sister and well….”

Castle told his daughter, “Well, even though the baby isn’t mine, I want to raise him or her as if it was.”

“She wants to be with you?”

“Well, we are going to work towards building a relationship. We have been talking about our feelings. Which is a good thing really. We are getting there Pumpkin. We are friends working towards more.”

“And she’s okay with that? You’re okay with that? Is it enough for you daddy?”

“For now. Eventually I want us to all be a family.”

He watched as Alexis looked down at the floor and scuffed the floor with her shoe. He could tell that she still had other questions. He gave her a few seconds and then she asked, “How can you want to raise another man’s baby dad? I….”

“I can’t explain it Pumpkin. I love Kate and the baby, even though it’s not mine, is part of her.”

That seemed to satisfy Alexis some. She said, “Okay.”

He could tell that she was still questioning why he was doing this. Why he was willing to help her raise another man’s child. However, she simply turned and walked back to join Kate and her Grandmother. She looked at the food and grabbed the plate of rolls and asked, “Maybe the baby can handle these. They are kind of bland….”

Beckett smiled at his daughter softly, “Thank you Alexis. I’ll try one. Maybe I can keep this down.”

Beckett filled her plate with other bland foods. Some fruit and other, non-offensive, foods. She took the food in the living room and sat on his couch. She was soon joined by his family and they all started asking questions. Taking a small bite of the roll, Kate smiled when her stomach didn’t immediately reject it.

Castle smiled at her and he started eating his food. Once they were done, Beckett stood and stretched, “I don’t mean to be a drag, but I’m exhausted.”

Alexis popped up and said, “I’ll show you to your bedroom Detective Beckett!!”

The two of them walked up the stairs together. Martha stayed behind and asked, “Are you sure about this Richard?”

He knew what his mother was talking about and nodded, “I love her mother.”

“But to raise a child that isn’t yours. That takes a special man.”

“I think I’m up for the job mother. I love her and I know that I’m going to love her baby.”

Martha smiled, “As long as you know what you’re doing.” 

“Do any of us really know that? We are taking it one day at a time.”

“I just don’t want to see you get hurt Richard.” 

Nodding slowly, he told her, “I won’t mother. Kate and I….”  
“I know son. Just don’t let yourself get hurt.”

Castle knew that his mother meant well and he loved her for it. He hugged her and she told him goodnight.

Meanwhile, upstairs Beckett and Alexis were talking. Alexis told Beckett, “I put some pajamas on the bed for you. I hope they fit and…”

Beckett took her hands and told the young girl, “Thank you. I’m sure they will be fine. Although I’m going to need to go shopping sometime soon.” 

“Grams could always take you.” 

Beckett sensed that Alexis really wanted to go with her though. So, she smiled and told Alexis, “Well, no offense to your Grandmother, but her clothes aren’t my style. I think I would prefer it if you came along with me. I mean, she can tag along, but I think we would….”

She was completely surprised when Alexis wrapped her arms around her and whispered, “I’d like that Beckett.” 

“How many times have I asked you to call me Kate?”

Alexis pulled back and shrugged, “Old habits die hard. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather have Grams go with you. I….”

Both women heard, “Oh heavens no. I think the two of you should go together. It would be good for both of you. Just make sure to grab Richard’s credit card.” 

All three of them laughed when they heard Castle say, “I heard that!!”

That’s when Castle came into the room. He smiled, “Did I hear something about a shopping trip?”

Alexis nodded, “She needs some more clothes dad.”

“Yes Richard. We can’t have her wearing the same clothes every day. Honestly Richard what were you thinking?”

Sighing loudly, he laughed, “I’m not a woman. I can get by with just changing my shirt…”

The ladies looked at him in disbelief. Martha looked at Beckett and laughed, “I promise you Katherine, I taught him better than that. Honestly Richard…”

He laughed at his mother, “What? Why do you think I only have three or four pairs of boxers and…”

Alexis put her hands over her ears, “La, la, la, la….I don’t need to hear this dad.”

Castle laughed and hugged his daughter. Telling them, “I’ll give you my credit card Alexis. Take her out and get her everything she needs.”

“Castle. I can’t let you do that. I….”

“Not an option Katherine. You and that baby of yours are family. Family helps each other.”

“Yeah, Be---uh Kate….Let dad do this. Then we can stop for lunch afterwards. Well, if the baby lets you eat that is.” 

Beckett turned to look at her partner’s daughter and smiled. For the first time in awhile, she felt like she was part of a big family. She smiled and nodded at Alexis, “I don’t want to spend too much money. I’m going to be getting bigger in the next few months. No sense in wasting money on something I’m only going to wear for a few weeks or months.”

Nodding, Alexis told her, “We can check out the maternity clothes. I’m sure that they have some nice clothes.” 

Beckett smiled and then she tried to stifle a yawn. Castle noticed this and told his family, “Well, we can talk about this in the morning. We will make breakfast before your shopping trip.” Turning to Beckett he asked, “I’m going to assume that the fruit was okay. How about pancakes?”

Nodding, Beckett put her hand on her stomach and smiled, “I’ll try. Of course it depends on how well the baby wants to cooperate…”

Castle waited until his mother and Alexis had gone before he leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. Kate returned the kiss and put her arms around his neck. When the kiss deepened, she pulled back and rested her forehead on his. The two of them stood there silent and then they smiled at one another. Beckett finally whispered, “Thank you Rick.” 

Castle was confused and finally asked, “What for?”

“For accepting me into your house. Into your family. Into your life.”

He smiled at her and whispered, “Always….”

She returned his smiled and whispered, “Always….”

Then he turned and walked out of the bedroom door. Closing it behind him he couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face and found himself looking forward to the morning….


	11. Chapter 11

Beckett found it impossible to sleep that night. She was in a strange place and she kept having memories of the explosion. She finally sighed and threw the covers off of her. Sighing, she decided to go downstairs and get some milk. Maybe that would help her sleep. 

She opened her door and walked down the stairs. Trying to be as quiet as possible, she made it to the kitchen. She was surprised to see that Alexis was already there. When her partner’s daughter saw her, she smiled and asked, “Can’t sleep?”

Shaking her head Beckett told the teen, “No. I figured that maybe some milk would help.”

Alexis was stirring something on the stove and asked, “Would you like some hot chocolate?”

“That sounds wonderful, but I don’t want you to go to any trouble.” 

“Oh, it’s no trouble. I’m making myself some anyway. I can just add a little more milk and cocoa.” 

Smiling at Alexis, Beckett smiled, “Then sure. I would love some.”

Nodding the teen went to the fridge and grab the milk carton and poured some more into the pan on the stove. Then, she grabbed some extra cocoa and a few other things for their drink. After a few minutes, Beckett decided that she needed to ask her something. A question that had been on her mind since Castle had mentioned her staying here. So, she smiled and asked, “Hey Alexis. I need to talk to you.” 

Smiling, Alexis asked, “Sure. What’s up Beckett?”

Taking a breath she said, “I just wanted to make sure that you’re okay with me staying here. I…”

Alexis was nodding and said, “I don’t mind. It was a bit of a shock, but…”

“Because if you do mind I can find someplace else to…”

Alexis shook her head fiercely, “No. No it’s fine. We are happy to have you here. I was just shocked and well…”

“Well?”

Sighing softly, Alexis hesitated for a few heartbeats. It made Beckett wonder if there was something that she was telling her. She took out two mugs and poured the cocoa into them. Motioning over to the table, they both sat down and Alexis took a sip. She wanted to word it right and finally cleared her throat and finally said, “I’m fine with you being here.”

The teen sounded anything but fine. Taking a sip of the warm liquid, Beckett finally said, “You don’t sound so sure.”

“I just worry about dad and…”

“What has you worried?”

Looking down at her cocoa, Alexis said, “He really loves you. I can tell by how he talks about you and…”

“And?”

“And I know that he’s going to love your baby. Even if it isn’t his genetically.” 

Nodding, “And that worries you?”

Picking at an unseen speck of dust on the table, Alexis finally nodded, “It’s not against you Beckett. It’s just...it’s always been just the two of us. We look out for each other. I just don’t want to see him get hurt.”

“I would never hurt him on purpose Alexis.” 

Sighing she told Kate, “I’m not saying this right. What I’m trying to say is that He loved my mom. Then there was Gina. He loved them a lot more than they loved him. He puts everything into loving the woman that he’s with. He loves with his whole heart and now there’s a baby involved. I’m just afraid that this will destroy him if it ends badly…””

Reaching over, Beckett took her hand and gave it a soft squeeze, “The last thing I want to do is hurt your father..”

“Do you care for him?”

From anyone else, this would have felt like an interrogation, but Beckett knew how protective Alexis was when it came to her father. So, she smiled and took her hand and said, “I do. I… I love him Alexis.”

That seemed to be enough for his daughter, because she smiled and asked, “Do you like the cocoa?”  
Nodding, Beckett took another sip and smiled, “I love it. It’s amazing.”

“I can teach you how to make it. Dad really likes it and…”

“What do I like? And why are you out of your bed Beckett?”

Alexis and Beckett both laughed and looked at Castle. Beckett shook her head, “I couldn’t sleep and I was going to make some warm milk, but Alexis offered to make me some hot cocoa. I couldn’t refuse.” 

Castle smiled and brushed a kiss to her temple and Beckett couldn’t stop the slight blush that tinted in skin. She leaned into his body and closed her eyes. Breathing in his scent she forgot all about Alexis for a moment. At least until the girl asked, “Do you want me to leave you two alone?”

Pulling back slowly, she smiled and told the teen, “It’s okay. I just…”

Alexis laughed, “It’s okay. I’m just glad that we talked and I see things better now. I’m going to go to bed.” She turned and rinsed her mug out in the sink and kissed her dad’s cheek and hugged Beckett before turning and heading upstairs. Remembering to call out, “Good night! Don’t forget about our shopping trip tomorrow.” on her way upstairs.

Castle turned and looked at her and asked, “So, what was that all about.” 

Beckett just shrugged and told him, “Girl talk.” 

Castle just looked at her and shook his head, “I really hope this baby is a boy.” 

Beckett was surprised that he was thinking about the baby and the sex. She asked, “You do?”

Nodding, “Yeah. There are entirely too many women in this household. I need someone to back me up from time to time.” 

Beckett felt like her heart was melting at his words. They were said with such sincerity that she found herself taking his hand and pulling him closer. She laid her head on his shoulder and whispered, “Thank you. Thank you so much Castle.” 

She knew that she was crying. Getting misty eyed from the simple words that he spoke. She looked up at him with tear filled eyes and said, “I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve any of this.”

Castle simply smiled and lowered his mouth to her. Kissing her softly and sweetly while they stood in his kitchen. The he rested his forehead against her and whispered, “I’m going to treat this baby just like I treat Alexis. No more and no less.” Putting his hand on her stomach he watched as she closed her eyes. She put her hand on top of his and the two of them stood there in the kitchen together. Neither of them spoke. No words were necessary. Castle finally whispered, “I was so scared when I was outside your apartment. I thought the worst. I thought that both of you were gone. For a moment my heart stopped beating and my world crashed down all around me. I….”

Beckett raised up on her toes and framed his face in between her hands. She whispered softly to him, “We are here Rick and we are fine.” She took his hand and put it back on her stomach and said, “I love you Rick and you saved us both.”

“All I did was call you. I….”

“If you hadn’t called me and given me some kind of warning Rick, we would both be gone Rick. You made all of the difference.” 

He gave her a shuddering breath and whispered, “I...felt so helpless and…”

She could hear the despair in his voice. She knew that Castle always wanted to take care of everyone he loved. She realized now that also included her and her baby. She took his hand and maneuvered him over to his couch. She sat down and then waited for him to sit beside her.Looking into his eyes she whispered softly to him, “I haven’t given much thought into whether I want a boy or a girl. I do know some things though.” 

“What’s that?”

Taking a deep breath she whispered, “I want him or her to have your heart. Your capacity for love and loving a baby that isn’t his. I want you….”

“Yes?”

Smiling she whispered, “I want you to teach our child how to live life to the fullest. I want to watch you playing with him or her. Playing laser tag with you and Alexis. I want you to share your love of everything fun. Believing in zombies and love at first sight. I want all of that.” 

For a moment, he forgot how to breathe. He wondered if he had actually falling asleep and this was all a dream. He knew that his eyes were filled with tears and whispered, “I want that also Kate. I want it all with you.”

Lying there with him on the couch, Kate found that she was getting sleepy. However, she didn’t want to leave him. She wanted found comfort in his warmth. When she felt him kiss the top of her head she knew that she wasn’t going anywhere. She finally stood up and whispered, “I want to sleep with you tonight.” 

Castle stammered, “Uh, Kate, I ummmm…I know that we decided to give this a try, but isn’t it a little soon?”

Laughing, she realized how that sounded. She shook her head, “Not that way Castle. I just want to be close to you tonight. That will come later.” 

Standing up, he shook his head, “You had me wondering for a moment there.” 

Taking her hand she smiled as she walked towards his bedroom and whispered, “You coming Castle?”

Castle smiled and followed her into his bedroom. They stood in the middle of the room and Castle walked over to her and she said, “I just don’t want to be alone tonight Rick. At least not for the first night here. I…”

He silenced her with a kiss and she melted. Then he walked them over to the bed and she asked, “Which side is yours?”

“The right side.” 

Smiling softly, “Of course.” 

She climbed under the covers and he laid on top of them. She noticed and asked, “What’s wrong Castle?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all.” 

He could tell that he didn’t believe her, but she kept quiet and laid her head on his shoulder and she soon drifted off to sleep. Leaving him alone with his thoughts. Thoughts that revolved around her and the baby…..


	12. Chapter 12

When Castle woke the next morning, he was surprised to find that he was alone in his bed. He felt the space beside him and the sheets were cold. So, he supposed that she had been up for awhile. He dressed quickly and hurried out of his bedroom. He smiled when he saw her standing in his kitchen. She was cooking breakfast and talking with his mother and daughter. 

She smiled brightly when she saw him approach. He kissed Alexis on the cheek and did the same with Martha. Then he turned to Kate and said, “You didn’t have to cook. I was planning on making you breakfast.” 

Smiling, she said, “I love to cook. It’s just no fun cooking for one.”

Castle smiled at her and walked over to her, kissed her on the cheek and asked, “Did you sleep well last night?”

Beckett smiled, “I did. Thank you.”

They stood their smiling at each other and only broke apart when Martha cleared her throat and said, “I think your bacon’s burning.” 

Beckett let out a squeak and that caused the others in the room to laugh. She hurried over to the stove and quickly moved the pan off the burner.

Castle went to the fridge to take out the milk jug and the carton of orange juice. The two of them worked in silence for awhile and soon the food was set on the table. Alexis told her, “Wow. this looks great! It’s been awhile since we’ve had this kind of meal for breakfast.”

Castle looked up, “Hey!! I cook!”

Alexis simply smiled at her dad. Castle shook his head and looked at her, “No respect.”

They ate their food and Beckett felt the love this family had for one another. She felt fortunate at being accepted into their family. She knew that her child was going to be so loved. Castle had such a capacity to love. He had proven it with her. She had made so many mistakes. Mistakes that she now realized were hers alone. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t hear Castle ask her a question. He touched her on the hand and he asked, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Why?”

Smiling at her, he said, “Well, I asked you twice if you were ready to go and you didn’t respond.”

Shaking her head, “Just thinking.” 

“About?”

“Just things. Mostly how lucky we are.” 

“We?”

Nodding, “Me and the baby. Being accepted into your lives when you have no reason to.” 

Shaking his head, “I’m not going to get into this again and…”

Alexis saw the growing storm between the two adults. So, she took Kate’s hand and said, “Come on. We have to go shopping. Remember?”

Castle and Beckett stopped in their tracks and Alexis pulled Beckett towards the stairs. There was a lot more than Beckett had wanted to say, but she honestly didn’t want to fight in front of him family. 

Castle told then, “I’ll call for a car.”

Beckett wanted to tell him to not bother, but was stopped by Alexis chattering about their upcoming day. It was hard to stay mad at Castle when his daughter was being so sweet. What she didn’t understand was Castle was feeling insecure about his standing in her life. Without a word she could take all of this away. She could leave him standing without her or the baby and he knew that he would be heartbroken. 

He just wanted to show her that he was serious about how he felt about her. After she got her shoes on, Castle walked over to her and kissed her softly. Then he said, “I’m sorry. I just worry that you will take all of this away…”

“Castle, I just have a hard time understanding why you want to raise another man’s child as your own.”

Looking upstairs, he called up to Alexis and said, “Pumpkin, we will be back soon. I need to talk to Kate.”

He pulled her into his office and told her, “You know that Meredith wasn’t exactly faithful to me during our brief marriage.” 

“I know. You told me that once or twice.”

He smiled sadly and nodded, “Yeah, well there’s something that you don’t know. I had always wondered if Alexis was my daughter. I mean, she had red hair like my mom, but Meredith has red hair. That didn’t stop me from loving her more than I had ever loved anyone before.” 

“You don’t think she’s yours?”

Shaking his head, “I had my doubts. As I said, Meredith wasn’t exactly faithful.”

“What changed?”

“When she was six I had a DNA test done. It proved that she was definitely my daughter. However, until that point I didn’t care. She was, for all intents and purposes, my daughter. The minute they placed her in my arms I didn’t care.”  
“Then why the DNA test?”

“It was all Meredith. She brought up the fact that she wasn’t sure if Alexis was mine or not. So, I paid for a DNA test to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was mine. It’s no different with your baby. I know there is no way he or she is mine, but I don’t care. I love you, so I love the baby that you carry. I just wish you could believe that.”

She leaned forward and kissed him so very softly. Closing her eyes and as they kissed. She moaned softly and felt his hand on her stomach. She pulled back and whispered, “I-I really should go.”

He hand found it’s way under her shirt. Caressing her soft skin. He whispered, “I love you so much Kate. So, very, very much.Your baby is an extension of you and more for me to love. Don’t ever doubt that.”

Nodding, she pulled away from him breathless. Her heart rate was through the roof and she honestly wished she could stay here with him. However, she heard his daughter moving around outside his office. She whispered, “I need to go.” 

Nodding, he took her hand and gave it a squeeze. Then he told her, “I’m taking you out to dinner tonight. Just the two of us.” 

Smiling at him, she walked out to join his daughter who was waiting in the living room. Castle watched as two of the most important women in his life walked out the door hand in hand. Talking about their upcoming shopping trip. 

The car was waiting for them when they got downstairs. Alexis smiled and told Kate, “I thought that dad was going to come with us for a minute there. I mean, I love my dad, but it’s nice to go shopping with someone else from time to time.”

Beckett looked at Alexis and saw the sincerity in the teenagers eyes. Laughing, Kate told her softly, “He can be kind of…”

“A dad?”

“Yeah. Was your dad like that when you were my age?”

Kate nodded and smiled at Alexis, “He was actually a little worse than your father.”

“I don’t believe that! Worse?”

“I was a wild child growing up. Extremely headstrong and I was determined to do the opposite of what he told me to do. I swear, if he said the sky was blue, I would have sworn it was green. I’m surprised that he didn’t ship me off to boarding school. And don’t even get me started on what happened when I bought my motorcycle. I thought he was going to kill me. He forgot that I was eighteen and there was nothing he could do about it.”

Alexis giggled softly, “Did he ever stop being mad?”

“Yeah. Of course it was after I went to college.”

“Where is it now?”

“In storage. I haven’t ridden it in awhile.” Putting her hand on her stomach she smiled, “And with this little one, it will be a long time before I ride again.”

“I guess dad isn’t so bad. I know he can be annoying, but he’s really pretty great. I...umm...I know the baby isn’t really his, but I’m glad…”

Kate could sense some hesitation in her. Alexis had lowered her head and was looking at her lap. She took her hand and placed it on top of Alexis’. She smiled and told her, “You know, I’m going to need all the help I can get with this baby.” 

“Really?

Kate could see that she didn’t believe her. So, she smiled and said, “Yeah. Your dad is great and I figure that you’re the perfect big sister.”

Alexis’ mouth flew open and she asked softly, “You...you mean I would be the baby’s sister? Even if we aren’t related by blood?”

Alexis smiled and told her softly, “If there’s one thing that I’ve learned from your father, it’s that sometimes family is what you create. And sometimes that has nothing to do with being related by blood. Sometimes, it’s made by being around the people that love and who love you back.”

Before she realized what was happening, Alexis was throwing herself at Kate and hugging her tightly. Then Alexis whispered, “Thank you Kate.”

Nodding, Kate smiled in her hair, “You’re welcome. I can’t think of a better big sister for my baby.”

It was then that Kate felt Alexis hug her harder and she swore that no hug had ever felt so good before….


	13. Chapter 13

When they got to the mall, Kate smiled as Alexis took her hand and led her into the mall. They spent the next few hours going through the various stores and buying different clothing. Finally , they came to the baby store. Alexis hesitated for only a moment and then took Kate’s hand and pulled her inside.

As they walked deeper into the store Kate couldn't help smiling at the different displays. She told Alexis, “I never realized how many different cribs there are . And so many different colors.” 

Suddenly, Kate found herself feeling extremely overwhelmed. She sighed softly, “I don’t know if I can do this. There’s just so much to choose from and…”

Alexis seemed to sense how she felt and said, “You have lots of time to decide. Oh look at this crib. It’s so pretty.” 

Seeing the crib Alexis pointed out, she smiled. It was so different from anything she’d seen before. Where the others were rectangular, this one was circular. It was white and had a lot of lace hanging around it. Kate looked at Alexis and said, “It’s really pretty. Very different. I’m just not sure…”

Looking at the price tag, her eyes bugged out of her head. It was incredibly expensive, but instead she said, “This is one option. There’s still a lot of time before we have to decide on a crib. I don’t even have anywhere to live and…”

Alexis turned to her and said, “Yes you do. Dad and I will let you live with us for as long as it takes. We want you there Kate.” Kate didn’t miss the emphasis Alexis placed on the word want. 

Instead she smiled , “You won’t be saying that in a few months when the baby is crying all day and night.”

“I don’t know. I’ve always been a sound sleeper. Besides, dad is a big baby too.” 

Alexis stopped talking when she saw the cutest onesie ever. Picking it up, she told Kate, “This is so cute! I’m buying it and oh...look at the matching socks and blankets. That’s it, I’m getting them.”

She picked up everything she saw. Kate smiled at the pattern and had to admit that they were cute. She loved the little jungle animals on it. Especially the elephants. She told Alexis, “You don’t have to buy this Alexis. I….”

“I know I don’t have to,” Alexis said with a roll of her eyes, “I want to Kate. It’s for my baby brother or sister. I plan on buying a lot more clothes. Plus I know that Grams will spoil the baby rotten. I’m so excited Kate!!”

Shaking her head she smiled softly at the teen, only to have her own smile grow when she saw the perfect onesie herself. She debated on whether she should get it or not, before she heard Alexis laugh and say, “It’s perfect Kate. Get it.” 

Smiling, she picked up the onesie that read, “I’m Cute. Mom’s Cute, Dad’s Lucky.”

They shopped for a few more hours and when they went home Kate hugged Alexis, “Thank you for the wonderful day. I had a lot of fun.”

“Me too! Now go get ready for your date with dad.” 

“You know about that?”

Laughing, Alexis told her, “You guys weren’t exactly quiet about it. Do you need help getting dressed?”

“I’m not sure what to wear.” 

They walked upstairs talking and laughing. When Kate came downstairs next, she was dressed in a black maternity dress. Castle was waiting at the bottom of the stairs for her. When he saw her he was speechless. He swore that she had never looked so beautiful. He took her hand and kissed her on the cheek and whispered, “You look beautiful.” 

She blushed and whispered, “Thanks. You don’t look so bad yourself.””

“Are you ready to go? I made reservations...for dinner….and…”

Kate smiled at how nervous he was acting. She smiled and leaned forward and kissed him softly. Effectively silencing him. She whispered, “You’re cute when you’re nervous.””

“Cute? Did you just call me cute? Twelve year old boys are cute.”

She laughed softly, “So what are you?”

He thought about it for a moment and finally said, “I’m ruggedly handsome.”

She laughed softly and said, “Really? That’s what you’re gonna go with?”

“Yeah. I like it.” 

She laughed and took the arm that he offered her. They got into the elevator and she smiled. When they got downstairs there was a limo waiting for them. She looked at him and asked, “Really? A limo?”  
Shrugging her told her softly, “It seemed appropriate.”

The driver opened the door for them and she climbed inside. She felt like a princess and wondered what she had done to deserve this. Sitting beside him she simply smiled while he chatted away. When they arrived at the restaurant, Kate let him get out first and she took his hand. 

They were seated shortly after they arrived. Instead of wine, Castle had the waiter bring them some sparkling water. She laughed and told him, “You can have wine if you want. There’s no reason one of us can’t….”

He interrupted her and laughed, “I’m fine with this. It actually doesn’t taste too bad.”

Taking his hand she caressed it softly and said, “Dance with me…”

He smiled and pulled her out of her seat and led her to the dance floor. They danced in one another’s arms until Kate finally whispered, “I’m hungry.” 

“Me too…”

She knew that he thought she was talking about food. However, food was the last thing on her mind as she captured his lips in a passionate kiss. She knew how she wanted this night to end. She wanted spend the night in bed with him. Making love until the sun came up. Shaking her head she let him lead her back to the table. 

She tried to keep her composure. Tried to concentrate on the conversation, but found it practically impossible. She felt the baby move and she smiled. She finally managed to finish her food and then she whispered, “Let’s go home Rick.”

He looked surprised and asked, “No dessert?”

Leaning across the table she whispered, “That’s waiting for us at home….”

Castle swallowed and asked, “Are you sure?”

Standing up she looked over her shoulder and smiled softly at him, “You coming Castle?”

He dropped an insane amount of cash onto their table and hurried out of the restaurant behind her. 

Despite her provocative words in the restaurant, she managed to restrain herself in the limo. It made him wonder if he had been misreading the signals that she had been sending out in the restaurant. He put his hand on her leg and moved it a bit higher. She smiled and pushed it off. He huffed silently and she shook her head. Leaving him wondering what was going on.

For her part, Kate was playing a little hard to get. She leaned over and nibbled on his ear softly. Then she whispered softly to him, “I’m going to make tonight a night you will never forget Richard Castle.” 

She felt him shiver and then she put her hand on his thigh. She gave his thigh a squeeze and he whispered, “You are such a tease Katherine Beckett….”

Smiling, she told him, “I’m just getting started lover.”

Castle did a double take and his eyes grew wide at her words. She had rendered him speechless. He was never speechless. When they got back to the loft, She was the first one out of the car. She hurried inside the loft and when they got into the elevator, she pinned him to the back of the elevator. She was like a woman possessed. She wanted him more than she had ever wanted any man before. 

She barely heard registered the sound of the bell signaling that they had arrived at their floor. She was lost in kissing him, He finally broke off the kiss and pulled her out of the elevator. He managed to get the door to his loft open and they hurried inside. She wanted to push him up against his door, but he whispered, “Mother and Alexis are home. My bedroom….”

Nodding she grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the door that led them to his bedroom. Knowing that night was going to be one they would remember


	14. Chapter 14

This chapter is definitely rated M.... Will be back to T next chapter.

Pulling her into the bedroom. They smile softly at one another. Then Rick comes up behind her and runs his hands down her back, his hand finding her zipper as he slowly undoes her dress, gently removing the shoulder straps, placing a kiss on each shoulder as he does so before letting it fall to the floor. Kate hears him gasp and she knows that her body still has his approval. He slowly turns her around and kisses her mouth, lightly stroking her hair. Then he kisses her neck down to her shoulder, in between her breasts, and down to her stomach.

The baby rests just below the thin skin of her stomach. Rick rests his head there for a brief moment. Kate can only wonder what thoughts are going on in his brain. The feel of his mouth on her body is unlike anything she has ever felt before.

Finally, he makes his way back up to her mouth. He kisses her harder this time and their tongues duel for control. 

Kate runs her hands down his chest.To the bottom of his shirt and then she lifts it up and over his head. He laughs at her and whispers, “You could have undone the buttons instead.” 

She whispers, “Too many buttons.” 

“Impatient much?” 

She gives him a look and it causes him to smile. She takes a step back to look at his body. He has an amazing body. She has fantasized about touching him for a long time. Reaching out, she touches his chest. Taking time to circle each nipple. He gasps softly and she smiles shyly. 

They walk to his bed and he presses her up against the foot of the bed. Not allowing her to fall onto it. Rick caresses her throat and presses himself against her body from behind. They both moan softly. She can feel how hard he is. She wiggles her bottom and he whispers, “Easy babe.”

She moans softly and tells him, “I need you Rick.. So much...”

His hand slips around her body and up to her breasts, teasing her tender nipples through the lace cups of her bra, she moans loudly as the lace causes delicious friction against her skin. Kate pushes back into him, feeling his hard bulge through his jeans. Kate smiles and she rubs her bottom against him and she hears him moan softly as she feels him growing harder with every second.

Then Kate reaches behind her and cups his erection slowly gliding her hand over his crotch and she teases him as he groans with pleasure. He manages to croak out, “Fuck Kate.” 

She unbuttons his jeans and finally releases him from the confines of his pants. She curls her fingers around his length feeling him shudder with delight. She whispers softly, “I love how hard you are for me Rick. I’ve imagined this for . I love you. So, so much.”

He moans against her neck and whispers, “Fuck Kate. Your hand feels amazing.”

Kate smiles and bites her bottom lip. Then she hears his pants fall to the floor. She laughs as he kicks them to the side. His boxers soon hit the floor and he kicks them clear of their bodies. He presses himself against her bottom again so she can feel his cock between her thighs. His hands go around to feel her breasts once again cupping one in each hand. He slides them around her back and unhooks her bra letting the black lace garment drop to the floor. 

He takes one of her breasts in each of his hands and softly fondles them, taking their weight and holding them firmly. Castle asked her softly, “Are they getting bigger?”

She let her head rest on the front of his shoulder and whispered, “I think so. I needed to buy some new bras today and. Ohhhh…” She moans softly as he pinches her nipples softly. Her legs threaten to give out on her. His hands are melting into her. It feels so good. Even if she wanted to, she’s powerless to stop him. She is his. He rolls her nipples in his expert fingers and her skin feels like it is on fire..

He releases his hold on her breasts and lightly rubs her shoulders; tenderly he works his fingers into her flesh. A moan breaks free from her lips and Kate can feel something stirring in her stomach, that familiar feeling of overwhelming joy trying to break free. She has wanted this for longer than she can remember. Wanted to feel the love of his touch on her body. 

She whispers softly to him, “Oh Rick…I’m going to...Oh….God...I’m….”

He whispers in her ear, “Come for me baby…” 

Castle wraps his arms around her waist, holding her lovingly through her pleasure, his hard cock still between her thighs feeling her panties soak up her juices.

She whispers to him, “That’s never happened before.”

“What?” 

“I’ve never come before from a man simply touching my breasts. God, that was amazing Rick..”

With his hands firmly holding her hips he keeps her pressed against the foot of the bed. Trailing kisses down her spine. She whispers, “I need to lay down on the bed.” 

He shakes his head and whispers, “Not yet sweetheart.” 

He kneels down and slips his hands up and down her legs enjoying how smooth her skin feels.

His fingers move up along the inside of her thigh and brush lightly against her lace covered opening. He murmurs with delight when he feels how wet she is. His fingers tease and taunt her through the wet lace and she moans and trembles unsure how long her legs will hold her. 

Turning her around to face him he hooks his fingers into the waistband of her panties and eases it over her hips and down her thighs, his fingers trace her skin and she moans in anticipation.

Her panties are now on the floor with the rest of the clothes she wore that night. As he licks his way up her inner thigh, his tongue finds her clit as he licks and sucks her hungrily, the sensation is incredible and her knees begin to tremble. His tongue works up and down her wet lips and then slips inside.

She can feel her orgasm building as he alternates from tonguing her to sucking her clit. She can’t stand it any longer and her orgasm overtakes her body and she cries out loudly, but he doesn’t stop, he keeps up his tongue gymnastics feverishly working her over and her body convulses in multiple orgasms, again and again she loses control of her body and he holds her up in his strong arms. Finally her body can take no more and he returns to her mouth kissing me through the last of her pleasure.

Gently he pushes her down to kneel in front of him. She knows what he wants and she can feel her heart beating faster at the thought of it. She places light and teasing kisses on the his tip.. She runs her tongue around the head and he moans cupping the back of her head to urge her ever closer. Slowly she sucks on his balls knowing the delay is almost too much for him to take. she sucks them into her mouth and runs her tongue around them all the time still stroking him with her fingers.

Finally she gives in and slowly takes him into her mouth, she can feel him shiver as he lets out a low moan and she sucks him in deeper. He begins to lose control as she sucks him into her mouth, filling her mouth with him. His hips begin to move with her mouth, thrusting himself gently into her mouth, his breathing becomes ragged and uneven and she can tell that he is close to losing all control.

She slows down, taunting him, making his pleasure last. Swirling her tongue around his whole length, then gently sucking at the head. Finally she gives him what he craves and takes him back into her mouth. Applying more pressure and keeping a strong, steady rhythm. He can take no more and she lets him fill her mouth. She keeps sucking until he has no more to give. He pulls her to her feet kissing her hard tasting himself on her lips.

He picks her up and gently lays her on the bed. His sheets are soft and warm and they welcome her into their folds. He crawls his way up her body, his fingers creeping their way to her dripping opening as he probes at her entrance. His fingers slip inside her as his mouth comes down on hers, kissing her deeply and slowly, and taking his time. Making sure she can feel how much he loves her. How much he cherishes her. 

His other hand pushes her legs wider apart allowing him to sink further into her. Her moans are muffled by their kissing and she longs to feel him deep inside her.

He removes his fingers and runs his hand over her stomach. Then he whispers, “This baby is mine. I don’t care that I’m not his or her father. From this moment forward, it’s mine.” 

She nods and he can see the unshed tears in her eyes. She knows that he means the words with the truest sincerity. Never before has she felt quite so loved and cherished. She knew that this was her last first time with a man. He was it for her. He runs his hand up to her cheek stroking her hair away from her face looking lovingly into her eyes. Kissing her hungrily he finally pushes himself inside her with a soft moan and she shudders as he sinks deeper and deeper inside of her, not stopping until he is filling her completely.

Slowly he eases his way back out until only his tip is left inside. Then he pushes himself back in. In and out and in slow teasing strokes, prolonging the pleasure for them both.

His thrusts get harder as he buries himself inside her and she wraps her legs around his waist holding him tightly in place, right where she wants him. Their bodies are drenched in sweat and their cries are getting louder by the second.

She elevates her legs to rest on his shoulders, and he lifts her bottom off the bed and plunges himself further into her than either of them ever thought possible. The deeper he is the better it feels as they continues their lovemaking. Kate’s breathing is shallow and her vision is blurred with unshed tears as she begins to orgasm once more, screaming throughout the delicious sensations.

He rolls her over onto her side and lays behind her; once again she can feel him between her legs and she pushes herself back onto him and he easily slips inside her.

With one hand on her hip he rocks be back and forth gently and rhythmically, she grips the pillow as the pleasure suddenly becomes too much, She’s moaning and crying as he tips her over the edge once again. They cum together. He holds her tightly in his arms. Then he whispers, “You are mine Kate. Mine and mine only. No other man will make love to you. Ever..”

“I’m your’s Rick. Always….”

He holds her with a hand around her waist settling on her stomach and they fall into a deep sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

When Kate woke the following morning she smiled when she felt his arm around her waist. She felt his warm breath on his neck and she turned to face him. She smiled at how relaxed his face was when he was sleeping. She kissed him softly and his eyes opened slowly and he smiled into her kiss. 

She pulled back and whispered, “Good morning.”

“Morning. How did you sleep?”

She stretched her arms above her head and smiled, “Wonderfully. Best night ever.”

Nodding, he agreed with her, “Me too. Are you hungry?”

“Little bit. Baby is hungry too.”

Smiling he pulled her in for another kiss. After last night, he couldn’t stop his desire to kiss her. He finally whispered, “Are pancakes acceptable for breakfast? Or will the baby object to them?”

She climbed out of bed and told him, “I think that the baby will be okay with pancakes.”

Leaning down to kiss him, she hurried off to get dressed. She found her dress from last night and put it back on. Carrying her shoes in her hand she stepped out into his office, before walking into the living room. Seeing Alexis and Martha sitting at the breakfast bar, she blushed a few shades of red. However, his mother and daughter simply smiled as she waved to them before heading up the stairs.She groaned inwardly and wondered how on earth she was going to face them.At least she would be fully dressed the next time she saw them. 

Castle came out of his bedroom and his mother and daughter turned to look at him. Alexis smiled and said, “I guess last night went really well.” 

He couldn’t stop the smile, “Yes. It was….wonderful.”

Martha smiled, “Well, she looked radiant this morning. Even if she thought she was doing the walk of shame.”

Castle groaned and Alexis giggled at her grandmother’s words. Castle looked and said in warning, “Mother…”

Holding up her hand Martha smiled, “I will behave and won’t mention how beautiful she looked this morning. How happy she appeared to be and….”

Rolling his eyes, Castle walked over to the fridge and took out the milk and eggs. Reaching into the cupboard, he took out the pancake batter. Pouring it into the bowl he started mixing the batter. He turned around just when Beckett walked into the kitchen. He was surprised when she walked over to him and kissed him on the mouth. He knew that his mouth was hanging open. She giggled and said, “Morning Castle.”

It was his turn to blush then. He sputtered, “M-morning…”

She grabbed a glass and reached for the orange juice sitting in front of Alexis, “Morning ladies.”

Martha smiled at her and said, “Morning Katherine. Did you sleep well?”

She smiled at Castle and then turned to his mother and said, “It was perfect Martha. Dinner was perfect. Dessert was perfect.” 

Martha smiled at her son and laughed at the look on his face. She said to her son, “Oh lighten up Richard. I’m not a prude and I still have.” Covering Alexis’ ears she spelled out, “ s-e-x.”  
Beckett laughed and Castle shook his head. Alexis turned to her grandmother and said, “You do realize that I could still hear you spell that…”

Castle turned to his partner and said, “And this is my life. You know, that baby just has to be a boy. There are already too many women in this household.” 

Leaning over Kate kissed him softly and whispered, “Whether the baby is a boy or a girl I know you will love our little munchkin.” 

The look on Castle’s face was one of wonder and astonishment. He was falling more and more in love with her every day. This was the first time that she had called the baby theirs. Before it was always in the abstract. Now, she said our little munchkin. Oh how he wished that they were alone in the kitchen. He would ravish her right then and there. Since there were innocent eyes in the kitchen, he simply smiled and said, “You’re right. Munchkin is going to be so loved.” 

They kissed there in the kitchen and only pulled apart when they heard the clearing of two throats. Beckett pulled away reluctantly and apologized sheepishly to his family, “Sorry…”

Alexis was smiling and she held up her hands and said, “I’m good with it. I’m just glad that you two are finally getting your acts together. My brother or sister needs two parents that love each other.” 

Turning to look at Alexis, Beckett could see the wistful look in the teens eyes. It was a mix of sadness and hope. Beckett smiled and took her hand and said, “I do love your father Alexis. I’m just sorry that it took me so long to realize it.”

Nodding, Alexis smiled and stood up to hug Beckett. She kissed her and whispered, “Thank you Kate.” 

Beckett turned and sat in between his family. Chatting with them happily while she watched her partner making breakfast. She rested her hands on her stomach. She felt the baby moving inside her and she liked to think that they baby was happy to be in the presence of his family. These women didn’t have a single reason to welcome her into their family. They had every reason not to. However, they knew that Castle loved her, so, that was somehow enough for them. 

She smiled and asked Castle, “I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow. I was just wondering if…”

Looking up from the bowl, he smiled, “I’m there.” 

Beckett smiled softly. She had known that would be his answer before she even started speaking. She nodded and then turned to his daughter and asked, “You’re welcome to come along too. They aren’t going to do much at this appointment. The next one however….”

Alexis looked up and asked, “What are they going to do at the next one?”

Beckett smiled and told her, “Well, they might be able to tell the baby’s gender.”

She got a huge smile on her face and she asked, “So you’ll know whether it;s a boy or girl?”

Beckett laughed as she watched the girl practically bounce up and down in her seat with excitement. This family never failed to impress her with their open heart and how willing they were to welcome her into their hearts and home. She nodded and told Alexis, “Well, depending on whether munchkin cooperates, we might be able to. It’s all up to this little one.” 

Castle smiled at his partner, but said nothing. He loved that she was willing to let his family be part of this process. He asked her softly, “Baby moving?”

Nodding she said, “Just flutters, but more active today.” 

She wanted to say a million things. Wanted to say that she thought it was because of their lovemaking the night before. That munchkin seemed to be happier. However, she knew that was crazy. Her baby had no way of possibly realizing how incredibly important last night was. For them or for the baby. She did however. It meant everything. Especially when he told her that the baby she carried was his now. She had cried happy tears at the words he spoke. Because she had felt the same.

He smiled and told her, “You are so lucky. I wish I could feel it.”

“Maybe soon. You can keep trying.” 

With those words, he left the pancake batter and came over to her. Putting his hand on her stomach he smiled, “Nothing yet. I’m really jealous.” 

Shrugging, she laughed, “I guess it’s my reward for having to deal with the morning sickness. I get first dibs at feeling munchkin moving.” 

He looked at her and laughed, “You’re so evil. And a tease.” 

That’s when Alexis said, “There are minors present here guys.” 

Martha piped up, “And Alexis is here also.” 

Castle and Beckett simply laughed at them and kissed her one last time before he returned to making their breakfast. Last night had been perfect in his mind and he wouldn’t change anything about it. Or about this morning. 

Sure, his family was overbearing and loud, but he loved them and he knew that Kate did also. He wouldn’t change any of this for the world. 

They ate breakfast together and then they headed off to the doctor’s appointment. Kate was right when she had told them that it was simply a routine appointment. The nurse gave her a cup and pointed towards the bathroom. Leaving Castle sitting in the room alone for a few minutes. When she came back inside, she laughed at how uncomfortable he looked. She patted his hand and smiled, “You look just as terrified as you did that first time you came with me.” 

“I don’t think it will ever get any easier.” 

Laughing softly, she smiled, “Welcome to my world.” 

“If this is what women have to go through? No thanks. It’s terrifying.” 

She reached out and patted his cheek and leaned forward and kissed him softly, “Just remember one thing.” 

“What’s that?”

“Alexis will have to do this. Sooner rather than later.”

Shaking his head, “Nope. Not my sweet Alexis.” 

He was stopped from having to respond when her doctor came into the room. They chatted about the pregnancy. The doctor told her, “Your weight is perfect. Let’s listen to the baby’s heartbeat.” 

Castle took hold of her hand and they smiled at one another. She was so glad that she was to share this with him. This pregnancy would have been so lonely. She had been expecting it to be honestly. Sharing this with him. With the man she loved was an incredible. Next time, she wanted it to be a baby that they created together. 

Wow...Next time. She hadn’t even had this baby and she was already thinking about her next one. Their next one. She closed her eyes as she laid down on the exam table in her doctor’s office. They popped open when a whooshing sound filled the room. Looking over at Castle, she saw the tears in his eyes. She squeezed his hand and they smiled at one another. He raised his hand to her mouth and kissed it softly. Then she whispered, “That’s our baby.” 

“It is. The most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard.”

The doctor smiled at the couple. Especially when Kate asked, “Isn’t that a little fast?”

Smiling, the doctor told her, “It’s one hundred forty beats per minute. Perfectly with the normal range for this stage in the pregnancy. Have you felt any movement?”

Nodding, Kate told her, “Yes. It feels like butterfly wings in my stomach.” 

“That’s perfect. It’s a little early, but every pregnancy is different. Some women feel it earlier. Other women feel it later. Do you have any questions?”

Kate asked, “When can we find out the sex of the baby?”

Smiling, the doctor said, “It’s usually between eighteen and twenty-two weeks. And that’s all dependant on whether the baby wants to cooperate. We can try at the next appointment. If the baby is cooperative we should be able to tell.”

Smiling, Kate nodded, “Thank you doctor.” 

“Anytime. So, unless anything out of the ordinary happens, “I’ll see you in a month. Keep doing what you’re doing. Because it’s perfect so far. I’m very happy with your progress Katherine.” 

Smiling, Kate nods and watches as her doctor leaves the room. Castle stands up to leave so she can get dressed, but she stop him with a hand to his shoulder, “I think you can stay.” 

“Are you sure?”

She laughed, “You’ve already seen me naked Castle. This is nothing.” 

“If you’re sure that you don’t mind.”

She shot him a look and rolled her eyes. She loved him, but sometimes he was ridiculously self conscious. She could tell that he still felt uncomfortable, but he nodded and stayed in the room with her. When she was ready she picked up her purse and they headed to the receptionist and she made her next appointment. 

When they left, Castle smiled and asked, “Are you up for a burger or is that too much too…”

She responded immediately, “No!! Remy’s sounds amazing. I’m starving actually.” 

Castle laughed, “I’m glad you finally have your appetite back. The baby seems to be giving you a bit of a break.”  
“And for that I am thankful. I got really tired of eating only crackers and ginger ale.” 

Nodding, “You get cranky when you’re hungry.”

She laughed and leaned over and kissed him softly. She surprised him when she handed him the keys to her car. She never let him drive. Maybe this was part of the new them. He smiled as he drove them to Remy’s.


	16. Chapter 16

The next few weeks went by very quickly. Kate’s appetite went back to normal and the baby was growing more and more each day. One morning, she rushed into his bedroom and pulled her shirt up. Castle gasped and reached out to touch. He looked at her with tears in his eyes and whispered, “You’re showing.” 

“I woke up this morning and it was suddenly there. I mean, I’ve felt the baby move, but seeing this…” She felt the rush of emotions clogging her throat. Threatening to make her start crying. She couldn’t contain her tears any longer when Castle leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her stomach. She ran her hands through his hair. She could feel the love through the kiss. She didn’t even try to stop her tears at this point.

He looked up at her and asked, “You okay?”

“I’m fine. I just...It’s seeming so real now Castle. I’m showing. The baby is moving more and more each day and…”

“And?”

“And you love both of us. I just never thought I’d have all of this.” 

“Never have what?”

“A family. A man that can see past biology and love my child as if it were his own. It’s just so hard to believe Castle.” 

“It’s not for me. Honestly, it’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done honestly.”

She looked down at him and she longed to take him to bed. Wanted to spend the entire day in bed with him. However, she knew that they couldn’t. She had a doctor’s appointment that afternoon and they were due to find out the sex of the baby. She found that she was extremely excited about it. While she didn’t care one way or the other, she would love to stop calling the baby, the baby. She could refer to it as him or her.

She pulled him up and kissed him deeply, “I so wish we didn’t have a doctor’s appointment today.” 

“Oh really?”

“Yeah. If we didn’t, I would keep you in bed all day. Wearing you out until we fall asleep from exhaustion.” 

He groaned softly, ‘Oh God….You’re killing me here Kate.”

“Don’t wanna do that. I’m gonna need help with the baby. You have all the experience in this area. I’m going to be terrible at this.” 

Castle pulled back and looked at her. He could see it in her eyes. He could see that she was genuinely worried about this. She looked down at the floor. He put his finger under her chin and told her softly, “You are going to be a terrific mother Katherine Beckett. Don’t ever doubt that. Not even for a single second.”

“I have no idea what I’m doing Castle. I’ve never really been a baby person. I’ve never even really held a baby. What if I’m a terribly mom? What if….”

Castle shook his head and smiled, “Contrary to what people think, babies don’t come with a manual. Everyone learns as they go.” 

“Why do I feel like you’re just saying that? You do such a good job with Alexis. She’s...well she’s perfect.” 

Castle laughed softly and smiled, “She’s an old soul. She makes it really easy to be a parent. I wish I could take all of the credit for the way she’s turned out, but I can’t.” 

“If my baby is half as smart and level headed as her I’ll consider myself lucky.” 

That was when Alexis appeared in the room. She asked, “Am I interrupting something?”

Kate dried her eyes and whispered, “No. I’m okay.”

“Are you sure? Did dad make you cry again? Because you know, we can leave him home and go by ourselves…”

Castle looked at her and cried, “Hey!! I’ll have you know that this is not my fault and…”

Kate blew her nose and whispered, “It is totally your fault.” 

“Dad! What did you do?”

Sighing, he laughed, “I just…”

Kate stopped him and turned to Alexis, “He was just being himself. So very sweet and loving.” 

She skipped the part about him kissing her stomach. She didn’t think his daughter needed to know that. Alexis looked at Kate and then at her father. She shook her head and said, “I’ll never understand adults.” 

Kate smiled and told her, “You will when you get older and start your own family.” 

Castle looked at them and said, “Which won’t be for a long, long time. A really long time. Like when you’re forty.” 

Kate and Alexis shook their heads and laughed. Reaching for Castle’s hand, they walked out of the loft and downstairs where the car service was waiting to take them to her doctor’s office. 

They talked about Alexis and how school was going. Alexis was surprised that her dad’s girlfriend was interested in her schooling. Her own mother could care less. She smiled and told Kate, “I’m thinking about going to Europe for a month for a school opportunity, but…”

“But?”

“Well, it will be just after the baby gets here. I want to be here to help.”

Kate turned and looked at the teen and told her softly, “Is it a great opportunity?”

“It is. It will give me college credit and…”

“Alexis, I think you should do it.”

“You do? Won’t you need me here to help and…”

Kate was proud of her boyfriends daughter. However, she knew that this was something that she should do. So, she smiled at her, “Probably. However, the baby will still be here when you get back. We can video chat every chance we get. The worst part will be keeping your dad sane while you’re gone.” 

“I’ll miss all of you guys. I don’t know.”

“How long do you have to decide?”

“I have a few weeks to decide. I just don’t know what to do.” 

“You need to do what your heart tell you to do Alexis. I know that your father will support you either way. If you decide to go, then we will miss you. But I don’t want you to stay here simply because of me and the baby. You’re growing up so fast and this is important Alexis. I can’t ask you to stay here to help us. Your dad and I can do this. We would love you to be here, but live your life Alexis. Do something daring. Do something big. Do something amazing.” 

Kate saw the tears in Alexis’ eyes and she wondered if she had said something wrong. However, when she felt Alexis squeeze her hand softly and whisper, “Thank you Kate. Your opinion means a lot to me.” 

“I’m glad I can help.” 

Castle said nothing. He simply sat back and listened to their conversation. He had never been so grateful that Alexis had another woman to talk to. Someone that she could look up to. 

Before they knew it, they arrived at the doctor’s office and they hurried inside. Castle found a place to sit while Kate checked in. Soon, Kate was sitting next to him and she had to put her hand on his knee. She looked at him and smiled and whispered, “Calm down Castle.”

“Sorry.” 

Alexis laughed at the adults. She could tell how much they loved one another and she was glad. She really liked Kate. She was good for her father and she cared about her. She watched as they talked to each other. 

It wasn’t long until Kate’s name was called. Castle and Kate stood up to follow the nurse. Alexis stayed seated however. When the adults noticed that she was missing, Kate turned and said, “Come on Alexis. You don’t want to miss finding out if you’re having a brother or sister do you?”

“I wasn’t sure you’d want me in there with you. I…”

Kate cut her off and said, “That’s why we brought you sweetie. Now come on. I want to get this over so I can go to the bathroom. I really have to pee.”

Alexis laughed and followed her. She fell into step beside her father and he whispered, “This is the uncomfortable part. Waiting and staring at all the weird drawings on the wall.” 

Kate rolled her eyes and whispered, “Don’t listen to your father Alexis. He overly dramatic.”

“I am not. I really, really hope this baby is a boy. We men need to stick together.”

Kate laughed and shook her head softly. The nurse had her get undressed and then the doctor came into the room. He checked her over and then said, “We are going to go down the hall and into the ultrasound room. Then, we are going to see the baby. Are you wanting to find out the sex of the baby today?”

Kate looked at Castle and smiled, “We are.”

“Hopefully the baby will cooperate with us today. If we can get a good picture then we can tell if the baby is a boy or a girl. Any questions?”

Shaking her head, she followed the doctor to the room. Everyone took a seat and Kate climbed onto the table. She waited for the technician to come into the room. Castle and Alexis were talking softly to each other. She could make out the jokes they were telling each other. She loved how they interacted with one another. She knew that her baby was so lucky.

The tech came into the room and Kate laid down. After a few moments, she heard her clicking away. After a few moments, the tech turned the screen and Kate saw her baby on the screen. It took her breath away and she wanted to reach out and touch the screen. The tech smiled and asked, “So, I think the baby is going to cooperate today. Do you still want to know the sex?”

Kate nodded slowly, “We do.” 

After a few more clicks, she heard the tech say, “Say hello to your little boy.”

Kate gasped and she started crying. Now it all seemed so very, very real. She was having a little boy. She felt Castle kiss her hand and she turned to look at him. She noticed that he also had tears in his eyes and she heard him whisper, “I love you Kate. I love our son.”

Kate was suddenly speechless. She was so emotional and overwhelmed. 

The tech cleaned her up and said, “Congratulations.”

They walked out of the room together and Castle finally whispered, “I love you. A boy..”

“Are you happy?”

“I would have been happy with a girl, but this...This is amazing Kate.”

Kate turned and looked at Alexis and found that the girl was beaming. She hugged Kate tightly and said, “Thank you for letting me come today. I…”

Kate smiled and asked, “Are you happy?”

“I am. A brother. Now I can buy cute boy clothes.This is going to be so awesome!! I’m going to have so much fun shopping.” 

Kate laughed and Castle simply shook his head. He knew that his daughter was going to spend a small fortune shopping for the baby. However, he couldn’t find it in his heart to stop her. He simply said, “You and Kate can go together. I’ll help when it comes to putting together the furniture.” 

They talked until they arrived at the loft. Castle smiled at her and then Kate whispered, “I’m calling the precinct and telling them that I won’t be in today.”

He didn’t need to ask why. He knew that today was an emotional day for her. So, he simply smiled at her and said, “Okay.”

They walked up to the loft together and Kate pulled Castle into their bedroom and called out, “We will do dinner later.” 

With that she slammed the door behind them and they disappeared into the bedroom not to be seen for the next few hours until the need for food became a necessity…..


	17. Chapter 17

When Kate awoke the next morning, she was surprised to see that the bed was empty. Sitting up in the bed, she stretched and wondered where he was. Grabbing his shirt off of a chair in the room, she padded into the kitchen. Smiling, she laughed when she saw him in the kitchen. He had the music turned up and he was making breakfast. Walking up behind him, she put her arms around him. He startled and she smiled. 

She placed a kiss to his shoulder blade and she whispered, “Good morning.” 

He turned around and kissed her softly. She hummed and he pulled away, “Are you hungry? I made pancakes, fresh fruit and there’s some orange juice in the fridge. If you don’t want that, I….”

She nipped at his ear softly and whispered, “What I really want is you, but I’ll settle for breakfast instead.” 

Placing his hand on her stomach he whispered, “How is the baby doing this morning?”

She hummed softly as she bit into a strawberry, “He’s fine. It feels so strange.”

“What does?” 

“Knowing that it’s a boy. Being able to think of names instead of calling the baby an it. I…”  
He placed a plate of pancakes in front of her and she laughed, “How hungry do you think I am Castle?”

“They aren’t all for you, but if you eat them all then I’ll just make more.”

Nodding, she put some of them on her plate. She looked thoughtful for a moment and then told him, “I’m going to need to tell Montgomery about the pregnancy. He’s probably going to put me on desk duty.” 

“Are you okay with that? I know you like being very hands on and…”

Shrugging her shoulders she told him, “I won’t like it, but…” She closed her eyes, “Is it bad that I’m already worried about something happening to him? That one wrong step by a suspect could hurt me and him...I don’t want to stop being a cop, but…”

“But he’s part of your heart now.” 

She looked at him and he could see the unshed tears in her eyes. She nodded and whispered, “I would do anything that I can to protect him Castle. I love him so much already Castle and he isn’t even here yet. I know it’s stupid, but…”

He finally spoke up, “It’s most definitely not stupid. You’re going to be a mom Kate. You’re thinking with your heart. I know that I felt like that about Alexis. Even before she was born I would have done anything I could to protect her. And…”

Kate looked at him and asked, “And?”

He swallowed hard, “And I would do the same thing for him. I love both of you. I love him just as much as I love Alexis.” 

“Do you know how crazy that is Castle? You…”

“What Kate? I’m not his father. You think I don’t know that. I’m well aware of all of that Kate. I’ll never share a ounce of his DNA. It doesn’t matter to me. I’m here for the both of you. For anything that either of you need. He’s my son in every single way that matters Kate. If this isn’t something that you want, please let me know now. Because I’m already so attached to him. I…”

“You shouldn’t Castle. You.” 

Groaning loudly he stood up, “I shouldn’t what Kate? Shouldn’t care about you? Or is that okay? I can care about you, but not about him? Do you remember what I said to you the night that we made love for the first time?”

She nodded slowly, “You told me that he was yours. That you didn’t care that he wasn’t yours.”

“Did you believe me then Kate?”

She sighed softly, “I did. I do...I’m just…”

“What?”

Sighing and the tears are rolling down her cheeks now, she whispered, “I’m just giving you an out Castle. You deserve so much more. So much better than this.” 

He threw down is fork and napkin and told her, “I didn’t ask for a way out. I want this. I want you and I want him. Maybe it’s you that doesn’t want this. Look Kate, I’m in this for the long haul. You’re the one that needs to figure out if you want this….”

With that, he walked out of the kitchen and into his office. Leaving her sitting in the kitchen alone with a plate full of food that she no longer felt like eating. She wasn’t sure how the conversation had gone so wrong so fast, but she knew that she needed to make it right. Needed to make him see that he was this baby’s father. She looked in the direction of his office and saw him moving around inside the office. Heard him muttering to himself. She couldn’t make out the words, but she knew that he was extremely upset. He had every reason to be honestly. 

She glanced that way one last time, before she turned and headed towards the stairs. Since she had the day off, she dressed in her most casual clothes. She grabbed her purse and headed downstairs. When he saw her, he didn’t say a word. He simply watched as she walked out the door to the loft. He wondered if she had finally decided that he wasn’t worth it. 

Walking into the baby store, Kate wandered the aisles for the longest time. Picking up outfits here and there. Now that she knew the baby was a boy, it was a little easier to shop. This trip wasn’t about stocking up for the baby however. She was on a mission to prove to Castle that she wanted him to be this baby’s father. 

She smiled as she picked up onesie after onesie. Putting them into her cart with a smile on her face. She finally picked out what she needed and headed to the cash register. She paid for her purchases and headed back to the loft. 

Not seeing anyone in the living room, she headed towards his office. She knew that he was writing when she heard the keys clicking away. She took a deep breath and walked into the office. She sat down beside him and he stared at the screen. Not saying a word to her. She sighed and asked, “Can we talk Castle?”

He asked, “What’s there to talk about Beckett? I think you made it perfectly clear how this is going to work. I love you, but I’m not allowed to love the baby. Not allowed to care about him. I just wish you had made your feelings known before I became so damn attached to him. I can’t pretend that I don’t care Kate…. I’m not built that way. If…”

She looked at him and asked, “If what?”

“If this is the way it’s always going to be. This constant push and pull. The constant wondering if I’m allowed to care about both of you. Wondering if I’m going to do something you don’t approve of and you’re going to snatch it all away from under me simply because he’s not mine biologically. If this is going to happen every time you have doubts then I’m out.” 

She felt her heart drop into her throat and she shook her head and whispered, “No Castle. I…”

“I thought you left me this morning. After we argued. I love you more than you will ever know Kate. That love includes your baby. What I can’t do is keep wondering if that’s enough. Will you let me be his daddy in every way that counts? Or will I always be left sitting in the background watching him love you, but not being allowed to do the same? Wondering if I you will see that I’m good enough to be his daddy.”

Hearing his words, her heart broke for him. She finally put her finger on his lips and whispered, “You are good enough Castle. I’m going to have doubts from time to time. So many men would run the other way if a woman was having a baby that wasn’t his….”

“I’m not…”

“Shush. It’s my turn to talk now. I love you Richard Castle and you are so much more than I had ever hoped to find. So much more than I deserve. I hope our son has the same capacity for love that you do. Hell, even half as much would amaze me so much.”

Resting her hands on her stomach she smiled when she felt her son moving. Turning somersaults inside of her. Taking his hand in hers, she whispered, “Our son is going to have such a great role model in you Richard Castle.”

She placed his hand on her stomach and whispered, “I’m sorry if I made you doubt how much you mean to me. To us. I love you Richard Castle and I know how much you love our son already.” He raised his eyebrows at the words, our son. She noticed it and said, “I meant to say that Rick. Because no matter what I said, or how I messed up earlier, this little guy is your son.” 

With that said, she handed him the package and smiled. He asked cautiously, “What’s this?”

She smiled, “I went shopping. I needed to show you that I consider you his father. I’m not like you Castle. I’m not good with words. With telling you how I’m feeling. Which is why everything got so messed up this morning. I…”

She smiled and watched him as he opened the first package. He held the small bundle in his hand, but didn’t open it. She urged him on with a smile and he shook his head. As he unfolded it, he felt his heart soar. He read the words on the shirt, “Don’t Look At Me. That Smell Is Coming From Daddy.” It was a bright blue onesie and the words made him smile.

She urged him on, “Go on. There’s more.”

The next one was a baby blue onesie and the words printed on there, “Sorry Daddy. (Now you have 2 bosses.)

That one made him smile. Then she urged him on to open the third one. 

The last one was a matching set. One for him and one for the baby. They were matching blue shirts. With a picture of a big bear on his and a baby bear on the baby’s. His said, Papa Bear. The baby’s said, Baby Bear.

He was so choked up that he could barely speak. He whispered, “I...I don’t know what to say Beckett. I…”

She climbed into his lap and whispered, “You shouldn’t have to say anything Castle. You were his father the moment you stepped up and said that you would be there for me. For us. I couldn’t ask for more. I love you Richard Castle and our son is going to love you. You have such a big heart. Please know that I’m so sorry for everything this morning. I never meant to make you doubt your importance in his life. In our lives. You are an amazing man.”

She leaned forward and kissed him so very softly. Pouring all of her emotions into the kiss. Letting him feel how much she loved him. How much he meant to her. She laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes as she breathed him in. She sighed cried softly. Her tears falling on his shirt.

He knew that she was crying, but he said nothing. He knew that this was important for her.He rubbed her back and closed his eyes. He wanted this forever. Wanted them both in their lives. 

He whispered, “I love you Kate. So very much.. You are my heart.”

“I love you too Rick.”

They sat there in his office in silence. Each of them lost in their thoughts about how lucky they each were and how they both wanted this to last for the rest of their lives.

Kate finally whispered softly, “I’m going to tell the boys and Montgomery tomorrow. I know that it will probably mean that I’m on desk duty for the time being, but….” Taking a deep breath, “Nothing’s more important than him. At least for now.”  
“That will probably mean desk duty for you. You okay with that?”

She thought for a long moment and then she smiled softly against his neck, “Yeah. Strangely enough I am. I’m sure after a few months I’ll be bored to death, but for now, it’s for the best.” 

Nodding, Castle breathed in deeply. I love you Kate and I’ll be here as much or as little as you need me.” 

She nodded and sighed softly, breathing him in. Knowing it was impossible, but wanting to be even closer to him. She closed her eyes and thought about how lucky she was to have him with her through all of this. Knowing that nothing was as important as the love she shared with him.

The next morning at the precinct, Kate went in to talk to Montgomery. He was surprised when she walked into his office and shut the door. She took a deep breath and told him, “I’m pregnant.” 

He smiled and told her, ‘I know.” 

“You know? How long have you known?”

He laughed, “Pretty much since the beginning. I am married and do have kids you know.” 

Biting her bottom lip she nodded and asked, “Am I on desk duty now?”

“You can question subjects, but takedowns are a no go. When you are further along in your pregnancy we will discuss it further. Agreed?”

That was better than she had hoped for. So, she smiled and told him, “Agreed. Thank you Sir.” 

“Anytime Beckett.” She turned to leave, but he stopped her with, “Congratulations Beckett.” 

Smiling she told him, “Thank you sir.”

She walked out into the bullpen and smiled at Castle. He asked, “Did he put you on limited duty?”

Shaking her head, “No. I can still go out to question suspects, but to takedowns. I need to tell the boys that they are going to be uncles.” 

Castle smiled and watched as she walked into the breakroom to break the news to the rest of her team…..


	18. Chapter 18

This kind of ventures into more of the AU realm.

Walking out of the break room, Ryan and Esposito looked a little shell shocked. Then, they looked at Castle and then back and Beckett. The tension in the room was palpable. Finally, Ryan asked, "How long have you known that she's pregnant?"

Castle squirmed in his chair and muttered, "Pretty much from the beginning."

Esposito looked at him and then looked at Beckett and asked, "You told writer boy before you told us? I thought we were your team."

Ryan nodded, "Yeah. What gives Beckett?"

Castle looked at them and said, "In all fairness, I kind of guessed it."

"How would you know? Are you the father?"

Castle sputtered and coughed. Beckett patted him on the back and she laughed, "Not that it's any of your business, but it's none of your business."

The two men looked at Beckett and Castle. Then they whispered together, "You're together."

Beckett knew that it was pointless to deny it. So, she nodded and told them, "Yes. We are together."

Ryan smiled, "We knew it. So he is the father."

Castle finally spoke up and said, "It doesn't matter if I'm the father or not. I'm here for Beckett. I'm going to raise him just like he's my own."

Esposito piped up and said, "He? The baby's a boy?"

Beckett smiled at them and nodded slowly, "Yes. The baby's a boy."

"Ryan smiled, "A junior detective."

Castle smiled, "Or a writer in training."

They were interrupted when Montgomery called out to them, "I hate to break up the pow wow, but a body just dropped."

They all headed towards the elevator and Beckett smiled as Ryan and Esposito teased Castle about being the father of the baby. He shook his head and laughed softly.

When they arrived at the crime scene, which was actually the hospital. Beckett, looked at the guys and they shrugged. Walking into the hospital, they looked around and were finally directed to a doctor standing at the nurse's station. When the man turned around, Kate wanted to run out of the building. Because the man that turned around was one that she had seen before. She knew that he remembered her when he smiled and said, "Hello Kate."

Castle looked between Beckett and the doctor. He could see the fear on Beckett's face and he asked, "Are you okay?"

She nodded and introduced herself to the doctor, "I'm Detective Kate Beckett. Someone called about a homicide."

He took the hand that she had offered and said, "I'm Doctor Josh Davidson. It's so nice to meet you again Kate."

She felt him stroking her hand softly and she pulled it away quickly. She resisted the urge to wipe her hands on her pants. She wanted to run to the bathroom to wash her hands off. She wasn't sure why she was having this kind of reaction to him. The night that they had spent together months ago had been brief and forgettable. However, they way that he was looking at her now, made it clear that he had different memories.

She swallowed hard and said, "We received a call from someone at the hospital regarding a possible homicide. Can you show us the body Doctor Davidson. So we can…"

He interrupted her and said, "Please. Call me Josh."

Shaking her head, she said, "I don't think so Doctor. Now if you can please lead me to the victim."

He gave her a strange look and smiled at her, "Of course Kate."

Beckett groaned inwardly and shook her head. She could feel a headache coming on and it was taking the form of the doctor standing in front of her. He turned to leave, but before he did he asked, "Can I get your number? Maybe we can go out for a drink when you get off shift?"

Shaking her head, she told him, "I don't think that would be a good idea. I'm currently in a relationship."

Castle was standing off to the side. Watching the exchange between Beckett and the doctor. She could see the wheels turning in his head. She nodded and told him, "Now, if you will let me and my colleagues get to work I would appreciate it very much Doctor Davidson."

"Josh. And is this relationship sudden? Because you were single when we…"

"That's enough Doctor Davidson. Please leave the room so we can get to work here." When he stayed put, she hissed, "Now…"

The doctor simply smiled at her and leaned forward to whisper in her ear, "I'll be at the nurses station when you're done. Then we can go out for drinks."

Kate wasn't sure what part of no he didn't understand, but she finally turned and told him, "I won't be having drinks with you today or any other day. I'm in a relationship with a wonderful man. I don't want anything more to do with you. At least anything outside of your professional help with this case. Got it?"

With all the arrogance that he possessed he told her, "But I'm a doctor." As if that made any difference to her.

"And?"

"Well, I'm very well respected and known in all the right social circles."

It was then that Kate practically pushed him out of the room and said, "Enough. I don't care how well respected you are or what social circles you run in Doctor Davidson, I have a job to do and you are standing in my way. I told you that I'm in a serious, committed relationship with a man that I love. Now, if you don't stay out of my way I won't hesitate to arrest you for harassment and getting in the way of a police investigation."

With that, she turned and headed back into the room. She shook her head at Castle's raised eyebrows and whispered, "Not now Castle. I'll explain later."

And she would, she just wanted to start investigating the case. To take her mind off the man that was standing just outside the door of the hospital room she was in.

After talking to the various doctor's and nurses, Beckett was able to determine that it was definitely a suspicious death. She stopped short of calling it a murder, because some things added up, but other seemed not to. There were a few missing pieces. Things that didn't add up, but she couldn't quite point to declaring it a clear cut case of murder. So, Lanie was left with declaring the death as suspicious instead of homicide. It bugged Beckett, but she couldn't change the facts.

As they were leaving the hospital, she heard Doctor Davidson call out for her, "Kate wait!"

She sighed and gritted her teeth and then counted to ten. She was going to punch him. She just knew it. He was seriously irritating her. She took a deep breath and told him, "We are done here Doctor Davidson. Unless there's anything else you can tell me about her death, I will be going. Good day."

"Kate I…"

"I said good day sir!"

She turned and boarded the elevator and pushed the button for the ground floor. She shook her head and leaned into Castle's chest. Castle whispered, "You're shaking sweetheart."

"I just needed to get out of there Castle. I…"

"Is that the baby's father?"

Shaking her head she whispered, "No. You're his father."

"You know what I mean Kate."

"He was the one night stand. I want nothing more to do with him Castle.I meant what I said when I told him that I'm in a serious, committed relationship Castle. With you. You're the only man I want Castle. Forever and always. You believe me. Right Castle?"

Castle smiled and leaned down to kiss her. They pulled apart when the elevator stopped. The doors opened and Castle and Beckett walked out and to her car. Sitting behind the wheel she closed her eyes and she felt better once she felt Castle's hand on her leg. He gave it a squeeze and smiled at her. Then he whispered, "I love you Kate."

"I know. I love you too. I just wasn't expecting to see him there. I honestly never thought I would see him again. I…."

"Shhhhh...It's okay Kate. Hopefully we have seen the last of him."

Kate nodded slowly, but somehow she knew that they hadn't seen the last of him. Not by a longshot. She knew that something was seriously wrong with the man when she got back to the precinct and saw a dozen red roses sitting on her desk. She looked at Castle and he said, "I didn't do this. I don't know who they are from."

She picked the card from the flowers and opened it. She sighed when she read, "These flowers aren't half as beautiful as you are. Please call me so we can get together."

She groaned and ripped the card up. Then she took the flowers and threw them right into her trashcan. She muttered, "The nerve of that man."

Castle watched the scene and was worried. He finally asked, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. If that man knows what's good for him he will leave me the hell alone. Where the hell does he get off? Just because we slept together once...I'm going to shoot him. That's what I'm going to do..."

She picked up her phone and dialed the number on the card. She waited for him to pick up. She rolled her eyes when he said, "It's nice to hear from you Kate."

"It's Detective, Doctor Davidson. Please stop sending me flowers. Don't call me. Don't show up at my precinct to take me out for lunch or dinner. Just forget that we ever met."

"Oh I can't do that Kate."

"Yes, yes you can. Because if you don't I will make your life a living hell. Got that?"

She could hear him laugh and then he said, "You know I can't do that Kate. You are carrying my baby after all."

"No, no I'm not." She said that more confidently than she felt. How the hell had he known she was pregnant? Very few people knew about the baby. Maybe he could see the barely noticeable baby bump. Hell, she had just really started noticing it that morning.

She heard him laugh and she saw red. She told him, "My boyfriend is the baby's father. Not you."

Now her headache was growing bigger and bigger. She heard him laugh and she hung up the phone. She walked towards the elevator and kicked the trash can containing the flowers. She saw Castle walked quickly towards her, but she shook her head no. She needed to talk to Lanie and she didn't want an audience for that conversation. It was going to be hard enough talking to her without Castle around. She groaned inwardly and put her hand on her stomach. She felt like she was going to be sick, but this time it had nothing at all to do with the baby and everything to do with the man that was at her crime scene today.

She knew that she was well and truly screwed if the Doctor tried to push for paternity. Because the child she was carrying was definitely his. What she couldn't have known then was that he was going to become a part of her life in a much bigger way that even she could have guessed and it would have nothing to do with the baby and everything to do with a murder that hadn't looked like a murder at all…


	19. Chapter 19

When they got home that night they had one of their biggest fights yet.. 

He had been quiet on the ride home. He hadn’t said a word to her. Had been concentrating on his phone. When they arrived at the loft, he walked inside and practically slammed the door. She took a deep breath and watched as he walked into the bedroom. 

She watched as he undressed, then she asked, “Can we talk about this?”

“What’s there to talk about Beckett?”

Sighing, she followed him into the bathroom and she leaned against the door while he got out a towel and prepared to take a shower. She felt another headache coming on and she knew that it was stress from the events of the day. She shook her head and told him, “Because you are shutting me out. Acting like you’re pissed off at me. For something that I had nothing to do with.” 

“The man was practically hanging all over you. He sent you fucking flowers. He’s calling you. The next thing you know he will be taking you out to dinner and moving into your apartment.”

She turned and looked at him. She couldn’t help it, but she laughed and said, “Yeah, because I’m not in love with you. I’m in a committed relationship with you. I love you. Besides he’s creepy.” 

“He’s a doctor. Smart. Successful. Handsome.”

She sighed and told him loudly, “But he’s not you you stupid jackass!! Get it through your damn head, I love you Rick. Not some one night stand whose name I barely remember!”

“He’s the baby’s father. Something I will never truly be.” 

She walked over to him and pushed him against the wall. She got right in his face and said, “Don’t you ever say that again. You are this baby’s father in every sense of the word. I don’t ever want to hear you say anything like that again.”

“It’s true though.” 

“Dammit Rick! All of this because some jackass in a doctor’s coat. I don’t love him. Don’t want to be with him. Will never want him to be part of my family. He will never know the love of our son. Your son. And I’m sorry if you can’t get that through your thick skull.”

She turned and hurried out of the bathroom. Slamming the door behind her. She grabbed her clothes and headed upstairs to take her shower. She was extremely irritated with him and didn’t want to be around him right now. 

Castle knew that he was wrong. He knew it the second the words came out of his mouth. However, he couldn’t seem to stop the words from coming out. The doctor was incredibly charming and good looking.And he seemed to be very interested in Kate.

He looked at the closed door and he knew that he needed to make this right. So, he hurried out of his bathroom and went up the stairs. He heard the shower running and he opened the door. 

He heard her crying softly and he knew that it was all his fault.

Kate stepped into the shower. The temperature was just right, very warm but not scalding, and she luxuriated in the feel of the fine spray on her shoulders, as her neck muscles relaxed. She arched her back and stepped back a little, letting the water soak her hair and run down her face and across her breasts. She reached down for the shampoo and started massaging it into her hair, working up a fine lather. She was crying because of him. She sighed and tried to stop the tears, but found that it was impossible. 

She heard a knock at the door and she knew it was him. She honestly didn’t want to see him right now. 

He whispered, “I’m coming in Kate.” 

“Don’t want you to.” 

He knew that she didn’t mean it. 

As she stepped under the spray to rinse her hair, she suddenly felt his hands on her shoulders. She jumped slightly in surprise.

As he climbed in behind her and took her in his arms. She resisted him for a moment and then he said, “I’m so sorry Beckett. I was stupid. Jealous. An asshole. I just…”

She took his hands and pressed it against her stomach. Their son moved and she heard him take in a deep breath. Then he whispered, “Please don’t take this away from me. I wouldn’t survive losing either of you.” 

He nibbled on her earlobe and she moaned softly, “Never. You are the one that I’m with Castle. The one that I love. You’ve proven how much you love both of us. You stepped up when you didn’t have to. That, that is the moment you became his father. No man, doctor or otherwise, will ever be his daddy. Biology be damned. He needs someone that’s going to teach him all the important things in life Castle.”

He kept nibbling on her ear and then asked, “Like what?”

She moaned softly when his hands moved up her body and captured her nipples with his fingers. Massaging them gently she moaned, “Ohhhh...Can’t...can’t talk when you do that….”

“Mmmmhmmmm…”

"Mmmm," she mumbled, and leaned back against his strong chest, as his hands rubbed along her shoulders and down her arms. She could feel him against her buttocks and wiggled against it playfully as his hands roamed up her sides, finally encircling her and moving up to her breasts. He playfully tickled the edges and the undersides, but eventually his fingers found their way to her nipples, which had gotten hard almost at his first touch.

He squeezed her nipples as his lips found her neck again; he nibbled his way up to her earlobe, biting it rather hard, and she jumped. She turned around then and their lips met. He pushed his tongue inside her mouth, his arms hugging her, and she reached down to touch him. She took him in her hand, caressing it gently, rubbing the shaft and moving a finger down to caress his balls. He arched his back, pushing himself against her belly as his erection grew.

She knelt down and planted a kiss on the tip. He moaned, and ran his fingers through her hair as the water of the shower rained down around her, and she took him into her mouth. She could taste the saltiness of it and she ran her tongue around the head, tasting his flavor in her mouth before she started to suck on him. Her right hand stroked his shaft, and she began to stroke him in time with the actions of her mouth. She could feel his excitement growing, as the water ran down her face and she took more of him into her mouth.

She moved her hand back to caress his testicles and drew his complete shaft into her throat. She sucked him as hard as she could, and moved him in and out of her mouth slowly. Taking his entire length into her throat in one deep stroke. Rhythmically she moved faster and faster and finally with a groan, he came inside her mouth. She released him with a soft pop and let the water run across his penis to clean it. He pulled her up from her knees smiled at her as he lifted her in his arms and carried her from the shower.

He took a large, fluffy bath towel and began to dry her shoulders and worked down to her back, then putting his arms around her to dry her breasts and stomach. Kneeling, he toweled off her legs and feet, and as she stood, ran a teasing finger up the inside of her leg, almost to her lower lips. She trembled a little at the sensation, and even more as his finger began to trace the inside of her thigh. He moved his fingers up to gently brush her lips, massaging and kneading the tender flesh, and sending shock waves through her body with every motion. Her legs began trembling, and he pulled her down next to him.

She laid on her back. He knelt between her legs and lightly licked the inside of her thigh. She moaned, and spread her legs more widely as he licked deeper inside her, teasing her clit gently for a second before retreating and licking at her other thigh. She let her hands run through his hair and gently stroked his head and caressed the muscles of his neck as he blew gently on her clit. He took it into his mouth and sucked on it gently, causing her to gasp. Then he pulled back and began to use his tongue in earnest, sometimes quickly, other times slower, moving it vertically or making slow, lazy circles around her clit.

He worked a quick finger inside of her and penetrated deeply, and moved it in and out in the same rhythm of his tongue moving against her clitoris. She moaned at the feelings he was causing in her body, and as they intensified she came, writhing, on the floor. He looked up at her and smiled, and then crawled up her body to lie on top of her. She put her arms around him and glowed in his maleness, his smell and the feel of his body on top of her. Soon, she could feel him becoming hard again and she parted her legs to let him inside her. He slid in smoothly and they lay motionless for a moment, enjoying the sensation of her around him.

Eventually he started to thrust himself rhythmically into her, moving his hips against hers and she rose up to meet him on each deep thrust. She put her arms around his back, caressing his strong muscles and his buttocks, pulling him even more deeply inside of her. His mouth found hers and they savagely kissed, his tongue forcing itself into her mouth in time with his strokes. He groaned, and she could feel him starting to spasm inside of her. The sensation brought her to her own orgasm and they came together, shuddering. He stayed inside of her as they lay together in the afterglow, enjoying the sensations of each others' body, their arms around each other. Until, smiling, she pushed him off of her, giving him one last kiss, to return to the shower that he had so rudely interrupted...

They went to bed that night and everything was back to normal. At least for the time being. It lasted a week. A week of peace a quiet. They were called to the scene of a gruesome homicide. A homicide that would be just one in a series of several. A homicide that would test them all.


	20. Chapter 20

It seemed like a normal case. At least until Lanie got the body back to the morgue. When she was undressing their latest victim, she saw something that nearly made her lose her lunch. 

There were two reasons for that. One was because of the word that had been carved into the woman’s thigh. It was the word, Bitch. Lanie had dropped her scalpel and her hand went over her mouth. Then, she noticed that the word baby was carved into the victim’s stomach. She scrunched up her eyes and wondered what the hell was going on? What kind of sick person would do something like this? 

She was extremely hesitant to call Beckett about this one. So, she decided that calling Ryan and Esposito would be the best for now. Especially considering the words on the body. She knew that Beckett was the lead on the case, but Lanie wanted to spare her friend the anguish of seeing this. At least for now. 

When Ryan and Esposito got down to the morgue they were curious about why she had called them. In fact, when he saw how pale to normally composed medical examiner was, she also packing back and forth. When she saw the men, she couldn’t stop the tears and said, ‘She can’t see this. It’s too much for me and I’m not pregnant and if I’m this emotional I know what it will do to her. She’s going to be…”

Esposito stopped her and said, “Lanie! What’s wrong?”

Ryan nodded, “You never get this worked up over a case.” 

They saw her take a deep breath and she said, “You’d be too if you saw this.”

That’s when she pulled back the sheet to reveal the parts of the body she’d had hidden from view. She heard the men gasp. She nodded, “See? How am I going to tell her about this?”

Ryan gasped and Esposito looked at the body and whispered, “We can’t let Beckett see this. She won’t….”

That was when they heard, “I won’t what? Why didn’t you call me Lanie?”

Lanie tried to block her view, but wasn’t successful, she ducked around her and saw the body. Lanie hadn’t covered it and she gasped, “Oh…. God….”

She hurried over to the nearest trashcan and lost her lunch. The room was spinning and she tried to catch her breath. She felt Lanie’s hand on her back rubbing her softly. She finally asked, “Was...was she pregnant?”

Lanie shook her head, “No sweetie. She wasn’t pregnant nor has she given birth anytime recently.” 

Nodding, Beckett turned and faced the boys. She asked, “Do you two mind handling this part? Maybe catching me up later?”  
Ryan nodded and told her, “Sure thing Beckett. We will catch you up later.” 

Beckett nodded and turned to leave the room. Not stopping to look back at the body. She called Castle, “I need to see you. I know you had a big meeting this afternoon and were planning on writing this afternoon, but...I need you Rick.”

He could sense the desperation in her voice and he told her, “I’ll be at the loft in about twenty minutes. I’ll see you there?”

“Yeah.” 

She disconnected the call and hurried into the elevator. Taking deep gulping breaths, she wished that she could unsee what she had seen in the morgue. The only small consolation was the girl hadn’t been pregnant. She knew that she couldn’t have taken that. She hurried to the subway and got on the one that took her closest to the loft. 

Unlocking the door, she hurried inside. She walked into the bedroom she now shared with Castle and threw herself onto the bed. Hugging his pillow she cried into it silently. Only stopping when she felt the bed dip behind her and she felt his arms surround her tightly. 

Walking into the bedroom he was shocked to see her crying. Once he was behind her, he whispered, “What happened? Is the baby okay?”

She shook her head, “No. He’s fine. Just a tough case.”

Kate proceeded to tell him about the case. About the words carved into her body. She heard him gasp softly and felt his hands rubbing circles on her stomach. Their son was doing somersaults inside her. Providing her proof of life. Proof that despite the awful events of that day, their baby boy was still growing strong. Still alive and healthy. 

She cried herself to sleep while he held her tightly. Wishing that she hadn’t seen that body in the morgue. Nothing had ever caused this kind reaction in her before. Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones. Maybe it was because the woman looked like her a little. She had the same hair and general body type. She closed her eyes and whispered, “I’m not sure I can handle this case Castle. I….”

He kissed her head softly, but said nothing. He simply held her while she cried herself to sleep.

When he was sure that she was asleep, he climbed out of bed and walked into his office. He called Ryan and when he picked up he asked, “What the hell was Lanie thinking? Letting her see the body? Didn’t she think about what this would do to Beckett?”

Once he was able to talk, he told Castle, “She did. That’s why she called me and Espo. Beckett came down and saw the body. Lanie tried to protect her. How’s she doing?”

Castle sighed, “Not good. She spent an hour crying herself to sleep. This one’s really getting to her.” 

“Yeah. I had a feeling it would. The victim looks a lot like Beckett. Same hair and build. Similar facial features. Do you think she will want us to run point on this one?”

“You’ll have to talk to her, but I think it’s a safe bet that she probably shouldn’t work this case. She was a wreck tonight.” 

He heard her stirring in the room and told Ryan, “I gotta go. She’s awake.” 

“Okay. Tell her that I’ll keep her posted on the case. See you in the morning?”

“Unless something changes, we will be there. Night Ryan.” 

“Night Castle.” 

He hung up the phone and hurried into the bedroom. He saw Beckett sitting up in their bed and she had a look of sheer panic on her face. He hurried over to her and asked, “You okay?”

Shaking her head, she whispered so softly he could barely hear, “No. I… I dreamed that it was me there on that table. That they took him and….”

He hugged her tightly and whispered, “You would never allow that sweetheart. He’s the safest baby ever. With you for a mom and all the Aunts and Uncles at the precinct. No one would dare mess with your or him.” 

Nodding softly, she cuddled up against his side and whispered, “I’m not sure why this case has me so scared. It’s almost like my subconscious is trying to tell me something Castle. Something important that I’m missing.”

Nodding, he kissed the top of her head, “You will figure it out. Ryan and Espo are going to handle most of the case.They think it’s for the best. Considering.”

He felt her nod, “I think so too. If they need help I will...I just can’t right now….”

She fell asleep once again while he held her. This time, he stayed in bed with her and it was a long time before sleep found him.

When he woke the following morning, Kate was out in the kitchen cooking breakfast. He smiled and said, “Morning. Did you sleep okay?”

“Not really. I finally gave up trying to sleep and decided to cook breakfast. Give me something to do instead of thinking about this case.” 

He grabbed a coffee mug and filled it with coffee. Then he handed it to her. She shook her head, “Can’t have any.” 

“Doctor said you can have a cup every now and then. You need one today. To help your nerves.” 

“Look Castle, I appreciate this, I really do, but…”

“Would you please just drink the damn coffee?” 

She took the mug and drank one tiny sip and then took it and threw the rest down the sink.Then she hissed, “I told you I didn’t want the damn coffee Castle.”

He looked at her and just shook his head. Then he told her, “Fine. I’m going into my office to write. If you need me I’ll be in there.” 

He turned around and walked into his office.Turning on his laptop and sitting on the couch, he stared at the blank page. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.He heard Beckett walk into the room, but he didn’t look up or say anything. He simply kept typing. She sat down beside him and asked, “Are you coming with me today?”

Shaking his head, “My deadline is at the end of the week. I should stay here. Not sure you really want me there anyway. All I seem to do is annoy you lately.”

“You know that’s not true Rick.”

“Isn’t it? All I tried to do was help you. Tried to give you something that I know you enjoy and you blow up at me. Can’t see why you would want me to tag along with you. I’d just be in your way.”

Sighing, she whispered, “That’s not true Rick and you know it.” 

“Do I? I’m not sure what’s going on with you today Kate. All I know is that this latest case has you on edge. It’s not my fault that the victim looks a lot like you. It’s not my fault that you saw what you saw. Yet, you’re snapping at me for no reason whatsoever. I know that you love me Kate, but please, stop using me as an outlet for your anger whenever you get mad because of this case. If you really need me there, call me. Otherwise I’ll be here.” 

He turned away from her and went back to his writing. Effectively shutting her out. She put her hand on his leg and he shook it off. Then she told him, “I want you, no I need you to come with me. This case...I have a feeling that this case is going to be hard and I can’t do it without you Castle. Please? Don’t make me do it without you. I know you have a deadline, but I need you. Especially now.” 

He sighed and softly and finally stood up and got ready to go into the precinct and followed her out to her car.Once inside, she reached over and took his hand. Giving it a soft squeeze she smiled and he gave it a squeeze back. He knew that her emotions were all over the place with this case. He couldn’t know how hard this case would be or how far this doctor would ultimately go to make Beckett his.


	21. Chapter 21

When they arrived at the precinct, Ryan and Esposito were already hard at work. Ryan looked up and nodded as Castle and Beckett walked towards them. Esposito pulled her aside, while Ryan looked at Castle and told him, “I’m not sure that she should be here Castle.” 

“Why? Whats wrong?”

Shaking his head, “This case. It’s just…” Castle could tell that he was searching for the right word. “It’s just disturbing. Remember the vic from the hospital?”

Castle nodded and said, “Yeah.” 

“Well, she’s related to the current victim. The first girl had a baby six months ago. A baby that was adopted by the woman killed last night.” 

“That’s..I don’t even know what to say to that.” 

“Yeah.She’s going to take it hard when we tell her and we have to tell her.”

Castle knew that the detective was right. They couldn’t hide this information from her. He looked over to where she was standing with Esposito and sighed. She was upset enough without this information. Knowing that their two latest victims were related and the one woman had had a baby. It was going to devastate her. Couple that with the fact that each of the women resembled her vaguely, he wondered if maybe she should take a break for awhile. He knew that she would never agree to it though. 

Ryan finally said, “I’m going to talk to her. Explain the situation to her and try to make her realize that she needs to take a step back.” 

“Good luck with that. She’s never going to step back. She doesn’t back down. You know that.”

“It’s worth a try Castle. This case is stressful enough for me and I’m not pregnant. She shouldn’t have to….”

“I shouldn’t have to what?”

When neither man responded, she looked at Ryan and then at Castle. She asked, “What’s going on? What are you two hiding from me?”

Ryan looked at her and said, “We aren’t hiding anything.” 

Crossing her arms over her chest, she gave him a look and said, “Out with it Ryan.” 

“Okay. So, here’s what we know so far. Remember the girl from the hospital?”

“Yeah. Her death was ruled an accident. She drowned in her bathtub.” 

“Yeah, well it turns out that the she and our latest vic are related.” 

“Related how?”

Ryan swallowed and Esposito looked at her. Then he told her, “They were half sisters. Same mother’s, different fathers.” 

“Okay, but that doesn’t answer the question about why you think the first one wasn’t an accident.” 

“Well, it turns out that Rebecca, had a baby six months ago. A baby that she gave up for adoption. A baby that was adopted by Marjorie.”

Last night’s vic. Surely it’s just a coincidence.”

“It could be, but Esposito and I think that maybe we should let you handle other cases. We talked to Montgomery and he agrees that…”

“You went behind my back?” She turned to Castle and asked, “Did you know about this? Was this all your idea?”

Castle held up his hands in defense and said, “I didn’t know anything about this Kate. I swear this is the first I’m hearing about it.” 

The look she gave him told him that she didn’t believe him. She picked up the case folder and stormed into her Captain’s office. She shut the door behind her so the three men couldn’t hear the exact words being spoken, but they could tell that she was extremely angry.  
Fuming, Kate told her Captain, “You can’t do this sir! I’m the lead Detective and…”

“And I’m the Captain. Look, the only reason that I’m doing this is because you’re pregnant. I don’t want the pressure of this case to hurt you or the baby.”

“So, it’s for my own good? Is that what you’re telling me? That you’re taking me off of a case because you don’t think I can handle it? That’s not fair sir! I’m stronger than that…”

“I know that you are, but I don’t want you on this case. Period.” 

She looked at him and breathed in and out of her mouth heavily. She finally turned and stormed out of his office. Stopping at her desk to grab her jacket and purse before she hurried to the elevator. Not stopping to talk to anyone. Not Castle. Not Esposito or Ryan. She needed to be by herself at the moment and that didn’t include any of the men in her life. 

Watching her leave the precinct, Castle whispered, “Yeah. that went over like a lead balloon.” 

“It could have been worse.” 

Castle shook his head, “It still can be. You don’t have to go home with her tonight.”

Ryan sighed and told him, “I wish there was some other way to do this, but…”

“It’s okay Ryan. I’m going to try and talk to her. For now, I’m just going to go home and hope she comes home eventually.” 

“It wasn’t your fault Castle. It’s not like you had anything to do with Montgomery’s decision.”

“Somehow I don’t think she’s going to see it that way. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” 

Nodding, Ryan and Espo watched him leave. He sighed as the doors to the elevator closed behind him. Truthfully he wondered if she would come home tonight or if she would decide that she would find somewhere else to stay for the night. 

Walking into the lobby of his building, the doorman greeted him and said, “Hello Mister Castle. It seems like you have a delivery.” 

Castle was confused because he wasn’t expecting anything. He asked Eduardo, “What kind of delivery?”

The man pointed to the desk, “Miss Beckett has a flower delivery. Very nice if I do say so myself. You have great tastes.” 

Walking over to where the flowers were, he picked out the card and read, “I’m not going to give up. I know where you live and what you’re doing. All the time.Go out on a date with me. Please?”

He looked at the card and knew that Kate didn’t need to see these. He took the cards and put it in his pocket. Then, he took the flowers and gave them to an elderly woman walking into the building, “These are for you.” 

He then turned to Eduardo and told him, “Please do not accept any more flower deliveries for her. Unless I tell you that I sent her something. She’s having issues at work and…”

Eduardo nodded, “I’m sorry Mister Castle I…”

“Not your fault. Just help me with this please.”

“I will.sir.”

Walking to the elevator, Castle walked inside. Sighing heavily, he wondered what the hell this doctor wanted. Kate had told him that she’s with someone else. Yet he was still going after her. Doing everything he could to insert himself into her life. 

He walked into his office and grabbed his laptop. Deciding to use this time to try and meet his latest deadline. Wondering when or if she was going to show up at the loft. He knew that she was mad.He just hoped that she would realize that he wasn’t to blame.

Meanwhile,Beckett was working her way back to the loft. She was taking her time though. She knew that Castle wasn’t to blame for any of this. That he didn’t control what happened at the precinct. She was just mad. Mad that Montgomery would take her off of a case. Mad that some sick person was killing people once again. Mad that a baby was left without their adoptive mother. Mad that there was no apparent reason for any of this. 

She walked into the loft and noticed how quiet it was inside. She wondered for a moment where Castle was. However, walking closer to his office, she heard the clicking of his fingers on the laptop. She cleared her throat and whispered, “Hey.”

He turned around slowly and she noticed noticed a small smile on his face. It was cautious. Almost tentative. Like he was afraid to believe that things were okay between them. Sitting down beside him, she took his hand and whispered, “I’m sorry I took off like that. I just needed some time to process everything. I…”

Castle leaned forward and kissed her softly and whispered, “It’s okay. I’m not mad. I was just worried Kate. So very worried.”

“I didn’t mean to make you worry Castle. God. I’m making such a mess of everything. First getting pregnant by a one night stand that doesn’t want to leave me alone. Doesn’t know the meaning of a one night stand and then these two cases. I feel like I’m just letting everyone down.”

Shaking his head, “You aren’t Kate. The only one that you truly need to worry about is that baby that you’re carrying. Our son is completely dependant on you. For everything.Making sure that he’s strong and healthy is your number one priority right now Kate. Speaking of one night stands….”

Kate leveled a look at him and asked, “What did he do now?”

Sighing he pulled out the card that was attached to the flowers, he said, “When I got home today Eduardo mentioned that there was a delivery for you. Well, he thought that I sent them. Flowers. I knew that I hadn’t sent them, so I checked the card and well…”

He handed her the card and she read it. He could see the rage building in her eyes. She took the card and tore it into little pieces. This man obviously wasn’t used to women telling him no. She wasn’t going to call him. She was going to ignore this latest attempt at trying to get her to go on a date with him. She was with Castle and she was happier than she had ever been in her life. Nothing was going to change that.

Doctor or not, she wanted nothing to do with him. She realized now what a mistake sleeping with him was. She sighed and closed her eyes. She wished she could go back in time and change so many things. It was at that moment that her baby boy moved inside her. She felt a tear slide down her cheek and she knew that despite everything, she wouldn’t change it. Because if she did, her son wouldn’t exist and she probably wouldn’t be with Castle. So, no, she couldn’t say that she would change a thing. She just wished that the circumstances were different.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered, “I want nothing to do with him Castle. You have to believe me. I know that he helped me create this little one, but I don’t feel anything for him.”

“I understand. I love you. I love our baby. We just need to deal with this. The case. We will get through it Kate. Promise.”

Kissing him softly, she whispered, “I love you Richard Castle. So much. Thank you for loving me. For putting up with me through all of this.” 

She laid her head on his shoulder and they sat there together for the next few hours. Castle writing while she curled up to him as closely as she could to him. Wanting, no craving, the call of his body to hers….


	22. Chapter 22

Beckett stayed away from the precinct for the next few days. It wasn’t because she was sick. No, it was because there were issues with the cases that they were working. Things weren’t adding up. There were absolutely no clues. Absolutely nothing to suggest why these two women were killed.

When Kate went back to the precinct, there was silence in the bullpen. It wasn’t because of her. No, it was simply because the boys were trying to piece everything together. One woman had words carved into her body and the other didn’t. One woman had given birth and the other woman hadn’t. They were different ages. Different economic statuses. Different everything. It was very frustrating. 

At least it was until they got the call that another body had dropped. Beckett looked at Esposito and Ryan and asked, “Do you think I should come?”

Nodding Esposito motioned for her to come, “It’s probably just a normal case.” 

Castle and Beckett followed him into the elevator. They were quiet on the ride down. Castle knew that Beckett was still a little upset that the boys had gone behind her back to get Montgomery to take her off the cases.

Beckett got into her car and drove while Esposito drove with Ryan.Castle looked at her and whispered, “You know it’s not his fault right? That Montgomery wouldn’t have taken you off the case without good reason.” 

“I know. It doesn’t mean that I have to like it though.”

They were nearly at the crime scene when Castle heard her phone signal that she had a text message. “Can you get that Castle.”

“Sure.”

He read the message and his face went white. Fuck. He told her, “Turn around Beckett.” 

“Why? What’s wrong?”

Swallowing hard, he knew better than to try and hide it from her. So, he told her, “There’s been another murder.” 

Beckett laughed and told him, “I think you’re getting old Castle. I know that there’s another murder. That’s where we are heading now.”

Shaking his head, he told her, “No. You don’t understand Kate. There’s been another murder. By the same person that killed the other two.” 

“No.” 

Castle swallowed hard and told her, “I’m afraid so. Esposito and Ryan think you should go back to the precinct.”

“I’m not going to be relegated to damn desk duty Castle.” 

“Let’s just go back and talk to Montgomery. Maybe we can question her relatives. Her friends. You don’t have to see the body.”

“Is it bad?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask Kate. I figured that we would find out when we get back to the precinct.”

Kate huffed and said, “If they will even tell me. Honestly, I’m not made of glass Castle.”

“That’s not the point Beckett and you know it.”

“I know, I know. They are trying to keep me safe. It just feels like they are treating me like I’m going to break from a tough case.” 

“I don’t think it’s that. You’re pregnant. These women look like you. A lot like you. That can’t just be a coincidence.”

Sighing, she said, “Yeah. I know. That’s what has me worried.”

“So you admit that you’re worried.” 

Shaking her head, “Not worried exactly, just wondering what the hell is going on. Why are these women so like me?”

Before Castle can answer her, they arrive back at the precinct and she climbs out of the car and heads quickly inside. Castle had to practically run to keep up with her. When they got inside, she went straight to Montgomery’s office, not even bothering to knock before she strode inside.

Looking her Captain in the eye she said, “I need to be involved in this Montgomery. I can’t do this.”

“Can’t do what?”

“I can’t stand on the sidelines and watch these women being killed. If I can help find the killer. I need to.” 

Montgomery thought about it for a moment and finally nodded, “Fine. I will let you handle questioning of suspects and any other interrogations. You are allowed to ask Lanie questions regarding the bodies.” 

“Thank you Sir.” 

“But if it starts to hurt you or your baby, physically or emotionally. You will be off of the case. Understood?”

“Yes sir.”

She walks out of his office and back to her desk. Castle is sitting in his chair next to her desk. He asks, “What did he say?”

“I can help. In a limited capacity. Interrogations and questioning.I’m allowed to ask Lanie questions.” 

Nodding, Castle asked her, “Where do we begin?”

“Where we always do. We need to go see Lanie and get an ID on her.”

Castle follows her down to the morgue. When they get there, Lanie is waiting for her and she says, “Are you sure you’re up for this Kate?”

Nodding, “I am. Please? I just want everyone to stop with treating me like I’m going to fall apart Lanie. I’m a homicide detective dammit.” 

“We are just…”

“Trying to protect me. I know. I don’t need protection. I just need answers.These victims need answers.”

“Okay. If you’re sure. This is Matilda Jansen. She’s twenty three and she live in Soho. She was killed around midnight. She was strangled and then stabbed.” 

“Any words carved into her skin Lanie?” 

Lanie sighed, “You don’t need to see this sweetie.”

“Lanie?”

Looking at Castle and then at Beckett, Lanie finally said, “Yes. There were two words there. Betrayal and Slut.”

Nodding, Beckett sighed, “Is there anything else I should know?”

“Not right now. Ryan and Espo are bringing in her sister to ID the body. Hopefully you can get something out of her during your questioning.”

When Beckett turned around she saw the determined look on Kate’s face. She was determined to solve these murders not matter what it took. She was going to wait and question the sister and get to the bottom of this. 

Kate looked up when she heard the elevator doors open. Ryan and Esposito were followed by a young woman. A woman she could only assume was their latest victim’s sister. She looked quite young. Younger that the woman lying down in the morgue. Kate took a deep breath and walked inside the interrogation room.She told Ryan and Esposito, “I’ll take it from here. What’s her name?”

Esposito nodded and said, “Her name is Karen.Jansen. She Matilda’s younger sister.” 

“Okay. I’m going to question her. Alone.” 

Apparently the tone she used didn’t leave any room for argument. The three men stood behind the mirror in the interrogation room and watched her as she talked to the young woman. 

“Hello Karen. I’m Detective Kate Beckett. First I want to tell you how sorry I am for your loss.” 

“T-thank you….Do you know who did this to my sister?”

“That’s what we are trying to figure out. Do you know of anyone that would want to hurt your sister? An ex-boyfriend? Someone she’s been seeing recently?”

The younger woman, bit her bottom lip and finally said, “She had been dating a man recently. She tricked him into getting pregnant. She was going to force him to marry her.”

For a moment, Kate forgot to breathe. She had to take a moment to gather her thoughts and Kate swallowed hard, “She was pregnant?”

Karen nodded , “She was about six weeks along. She had just found out. She was so happy. She kept bragging about how she bagged herself a well known and good looking doctor.”

On the other side of the glass, Ryan said, “I’m on it.” 

Ryan got his cell phone out and was calling Lanie. Letting her know the latest information they had learned from their victim’s sister.

Inside the box, Kate asked, “Do you know this doctor’s name?”

“She didn’t tell me his last name. I did hear her on the phone talking with him once. They were arranging a date.” 

“Even a first name can help.” 

Nodding, she told her, “I heard her call him Josh.”

Kate felt all of the wind leave her body. Surely it had to be a coincidence. There had to be hundred’s of doctor’s in the city and more than one of them could have the name Josh. So, she asked, “Is there anything else you can tell us?”

Karen said, “I think he wanted to keep her a secret. She thinks that he was married. She had fallen in love with him, but she said that he kept talking about another woman. How she was having his baby and how he was so in love with her. I think Mati was trying to compete with her. Even though she thought he was married. He threatened her once.”

“How so?”

“This is just what she told me. She said that she was asking questions about the other woman in his life. Apparently she was annoying him and he told her that if she didn’t stop it, she would end up like those other two women that were murdered recently. I told her she needed to break if off with him.That he wasn’t stable. That if she left him he would make sure she wasn’t with anyone else. Ever again..”

“What was her reaction?”

“She told me that she couldn’t leave him. That she loved him and was going to tell him about the baby last night. Do you think he killed her?”

“That’s what we are going to find out. Is there anything else you can possibly think of? No matter how small, it might help us.”

Shrugging, she said, “I can’t think of anything.” 

“Well, if you can think of anything else, please let me know.” 

Nodding, Karen smiled sadly and walked out of the interrogation room and Kate sat alone for a few minutes. She was sure it had to be a coincidence. There’s no way that he could be their prime suspect. She finally stood up and walked out of the room.

Castle found her and whispered, “You need a minute?”

Shaking her head, “No. I need to go question him. Find out if he’s the son of a bitch that’s responsible for these murders.” 

“Do you think you should do it? Maybe you should leave it for Ryan or Espo?

Shaking her head, “I think he would talk to me. He would just clam up with them.”

“I’m coming with you.” 

“No Castle. You can’t. He won’t talk if he sees you there either . He already doesn’t like you.”

“That’s too bad. I’m not letting you go there by yourself.Not when he could be behind all of this.”

Beckett knew that there was no use arguing with him, so she finally agreed. They walked to her car and drove to the hospital. They talked to the head nurse and she assured them that she would tell Doctor Davidson that they were there.

Josh finally came into the room and he was all smiles and charm. He walked over to Kate and shook her hand. When he tried to hug her, she put a stop to it, “That’s enough Doctor Davidson.” 

“Kate. How many time have I told you to call me Josh. I think we are past the Doctor Davidson point.” 

“No thank you. I’m here in an official capacity. Do you know a woman by the name of Matilda a Jansen?”

To the untrained eye, the slip in his composure would have gone unnoticed. Kate noticed it however. She could tell he wasn’t telling the truth when he said, “I have never heard of anyone by that name before.” 

Nodding, Kate said, “Well, then I’m sure you wouldn’t mind submitting a sample of your DNA. Just as a technicality.” 

“What for?”

“Matilda was murdered.”

“And you suspect me? I wouldn’t kill her. I loved her….”

“Really? I thought you said you didn’t know her? And haven;t you recently claimed to love me and want to be with me?”

Realising that he slipped up, he tried to cover his tracks and said, “Well, I do, but I loved her like a sister.” 

“Uh huh. Listen Doctor Davidson, did you know that she was six weeks pregnant?”

She watched as her swallowed and she could tell that he was nervous. Kate was growing tired of this cat and mouse game. So, she told him, “I’m leaving now. I will come back with a warrant for your DNA. Then, I will test it against the DNA of the baby she’s carrying and then I will take you downtown for further questioning. Good day Doctor Davidson.” 

She turned and walked away from him. She had never been this mad before.She told Castle, “Come on. I need to get out of here. The air stinks in here.” 

She hurried to her car and climbed inside. She hadn’t been this mad in quite some time. Deep inside she knew that he was their suspect. She just couldn’t prove it. Couldn’t put the final piece of the puzzle together. She was sure that it was out there somewhere, she just needed to find the one thing to tie them all together.

What she couldn’t have known was that the doctor wasn’t going to let her ruin his life. So, he hurried to his own car and followed her out of the hospital parking lot. Pregnant or not, she wasn’t going to make a fool out of him. He would make her fall in love with him once and for all. However, if she refused to see reason, like the other women that had crossed him had, he would get rid of her. Just like he had with Matilda . The little fool had thought she could force him into marrying her.He had only used her as substitute for Kate. No, he wasn’t going to be forced into marrying some young thing simply because she had tricked him into getting her pregnant.

Josh hurried to his car and quickly caught up with her He managed to get his car just behind her. When he was just close enough, he hit her car from behind to force her off of the road. He hadn’t counted on the fact that she was a police detective. That she had training to handle this type of thing. So, he hit her car once again. Hoping that she would stop eventually. 

Beckett sped up and so did the person in the other vehicle. She tried to get away, but Josh relentless.So, she pulled over to the side of the road and told Castle, “Stay here.” 

“You aren’t getting out of the car! Think about the baby.” 

“I am. Please just do me a favor for once and stay here.”

Unbeknownst to her, Josh had climbed out of his car and was hiding behind it, just out of her view. The moment she stepped around the back of the car, he pounced. It caused her to lose her balance and she very nearly fell to the ground. Josh managed to overpower her and knock her gun away from her. He spun her around and held a knife to her throat. 

Kate was shocked and asked, “Josh? Why are you doing this?”

“Because, all of you women are the same You all think you’re better than me.”

Shaking her head she told him, “I don’t think I’m better than you.”

Laughing snidely, he told her, “Sure you do. You slept with me one night and then, before the memory of that night is over, you’re with him.” 

“Josh, I’m not sure what you remember about that night, but it was just a one night stand. I wasn’t asking for anything and didn’t offer anything in return. Surely you can see that.” 

“I’m sick of women like you. Women that give me no other choice. They only want a one night stand. And then there are the women that try to trick me into getting pregnant. Women that aren’t worthy of having my child. What is it with them? They are all sluts. Every single one of them. So, I have the last laugh. I love watching the light fade from their eyes. Mostly in surprise that I would do something like this to them. Especially since they think that I love them. What do they know about love? Love is nothing but a lie. Look at you Kate, I gave you a baby and then you decide to raise it with him. A simple writer. A man that isn’t worthy of you or that baby you’re carrying. I’m going to take you away until you fall in love with me. He won’t have you or the baby..” 

It was then that Castle ventured out of the car. He told Josh, “Why are you doing this Josh. What did she do to you?”

“She decided that she wanted you instead of me. You!! I’m a well known doctor and any woman would be proud to be with me. You’re just a man that writes stories for a living. You live in a land of make believe.” 

Josh kept backing up towards his car, he told her, “I thought that you’d get the clue when I killed those other women. That it would force you to come talk to me. Maybe draw us closer together. So, that I could be with you. I know that you could grow to love me Kate. We were so good together that night. So good.” 

She didn’t want to make him angrier, so, she simply nodded, “I’ll go with you. Just don’t hurt the baby.”

Shaking his head, “You don’t want me. You still want that stupid writer over there. I can’t let you live. You will send me to prison and I can’t have that.”

He pushed the knife into her neck. Castle saw a trickle of blood run down her neck. He wanted to rush to her. Wanted to help her, but he knew that this man could end her life. Esposito and Ryan were nearly upon them. However, he saw it before he could stop it, Kate stepped on his foot and then turned to hit him. Josh raised the knife and lurched forward towards her. He had taken only three steps when gunshots rang out. He dropped to the ground and Esposito hurried over to where Josh was laying on the ground. He bent down and felt for a pulse. He shook his head and Ryan told Castle, “You should take her to the hospital.”

She didn’t question how Ryan and Espo knew where to find them. She just wanted to go home. Wanted for this whole awful day to be over

Shaking her head and told them, “I don’t need to go to the hospital. I just want to go home.” She turned to Castle and told him, “Take me home Castle. Please?”

Knowing better than to argue with her, he took his hand in hers and led her to her car. Once inside, he got in the driver’s seat and headed home. Home to the loft. Home to where it was safe…..


	23. Chapter 23

Castle held her hand as they walked towards the elevator. When they finally walked inside, he held her close and whispered, “You’re shaking…”

“I can’t believe that you aren’t. I just want to soak in a bath and forget that tonight even happened.” 

“We can’t do that Kate. We are going to have to talk about it you know.” 

“I know. Just not tonight. Please?”

Castle nodded and opened the door to the loft. He asked her softly, “Are you hungry?”

Shaking her head, “Not really, but I need to eat.”

“Then I’ll make us something to eat. You go take that bath, and when you’re done I’ll have dinner ready.”

Walking into the bathroom, Kate sighed and undressed, sliding into the tub, and settling back before she let out another sigh . She put her hand on her stomach and whispered, “You won’t be anything like that man. Your father is the man in the kitchen right now making us dinner.You’re going to have his heart. His sense of adventure. His love for others. You’re so different from your sperm donor . I won’t call him your father. Ever.” 

She let the tears roll down her cheeks and the water from the shower carried them away. She soon cried all of her tears and she finished her shower. Toweling off, she walked into the bedroom and got dressed. Then, she padded out into the kitchen.

Castle saw her and smiled, “I’m just about done here.”

She grabbed a glass out of the cupboard and poured herself a glass of milk. She carried it over to the table and sat down. Watching Castle finish the food she couldn’t help smiling. She really loved him cooking for her. 

When he put her plate in front of her she smiled and whispered, “Thanks Castle.”

“No problem.”

Kate took a bite and moaned as she ate the food, “This is really good.”

“As always.”

Kate laughed and shook her head, “I love you. Promise me one thing.”

“Anything.”

“Promise me that you will never change. That you will always love me. Love him. No matter what happens.”

He put his fork down and took her hand, “That’s something that you will never have to worry about. You and I will always be together. In fact. Wait right here.” 

She laughed as she watched him run into their bedroom. She called out, “Where are you going Castle?”

“You’ll see. Give me a second!!” She laughed when he called out, “Ouch. Darn bed.”

She giggled and rolled her eyes when he said, “Ow, ow, ow… Where is it? Oh, there it is...Yes!!”

“What are you doing Castle?”

“Hold your horses woman!”

She laughed when she saw him walking towards her. He looked at her and said, “Kate, I have something to ask you. Something very important.”

“What?”

He looked at her and said, “Kate, I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time now. I want to grow old with you. Eventually, I want to have more children with you. You are the love of my life. I want you to be the first thing I see every morning and the last thing I see at night.”

“What are you doing?”

“Shhhh...I’m trying to do something here.” 

“Okay…”

“Katherine Houghton Beckett, will you marry me?”

He watched as her mouth opened and closed. Then she whispered, “You want to marry me?”

“I do. I want us to be official. I want you to…”

Kate jumped up and kissed him hard, “Yes!! Yes I will marry you. I love you Richard Castle.” 

“I love you too Katherine Beckett. I know it’s sudden, but..”

“It’s not. I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. Raising our son with anyone else. I want to build a life with you.”

Smiling, Kate leaned forward and kissed him softly. What had started off as a terrible ending to the day, had turned into one of the most wonderful days of her life. She smiled when he took her hand and put the ring on her finger. She looked down at it and whispered, “It’s so beautiful Castle.” 

“Alexis seemed to like it when she went to pick it out with me and…”

“Alexis helped you?”

“Yeah. I knew what I wanted, but wanted a second opinion.:

“Is she okay with us getting married?”

“She is. In fact, her exact words were, it’s about time you came to your senses.” 

Kate laughed and that’s when they heard the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs. Alexis skidded into the kitchen and saw them kissing and she asked, “Did you ask her?”

Kate then held out her hand to show Alexis, causing the teen to squeal and clap her hands. Then Alexis rushed forward and hugged her tightly, “I’m so happy for you guys!! When are you going to get married? Before the baby comes? I…”

Castle laughed and told her, “Take a breath.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just excited for you guys. I can’t wait to tell Grams.”

They both watched as Alexis hurried back upstairs. The sound of her footsteps getting softer as she went back into her bedroom. Kate smiled, “I think she’s excited.” 

“Just a little bit. So, did you want to get married before he’s born? Did you want a big wedding? Invite everyone you know.”

Shaking her head, “I want something small and intimate.Just our family and friends. The boys. I want to be married before our son comes.”

“I agree. I can call my party planner and get her started on it. We can get married in the library. After all, that’s where I fell in love with you.” 

“You did?” 

“I did. It was then that my life changed forever. And it only got better from there…”

Kate smiled and took his hand in hers. Then, she pulled him towards the bedroom where they spent the next few hours making sure the other knew how much they loved each other and to celebrate their engagement.

Waking up the following morning, Kate smiled as she looked at the ring on her finger. She kissed him awake and whispered, “Morning.” 

He smiled up at her and she let her hands drift through his hair. He whispered back, “Morning beautiful. Did you sleep well?”

Nodding, she kissed him again and closed her eyes. The baby kicked her hard and tumbled around in her stomach. She laughed when he whispered, “He’s got some kick on him.”

“He does. Maybe he will be a soccer player.”

“Or a football player.”  
Smiling, Kate told him, “He can be whatever he wants to be. The sky’s the limit for him.” 

“I love you both. Thank you for letting me love you.”

Laughing she shook her head, “You don’t have to thank me over and over again Rick. We are in this together. I should be the one thanking you. Thanking you for helping me. Being willing to raise him. Knowing what you know about Josh. You should be running in the opposite direction Rick.” 

“Never gonna happen. I’m in this for the long run.” 

“I know and I’m so very lucky. I love you.” 

“”Love you too. Now, are you hungry?”

Nodding, she smiled and hurried out of the bed and ran to their bathroom, “Gotta go to the bathroom first though. He laughed softly and hurried out of the bed to go start making breakfast. He walked into the kitchen and smiled when he saw Alexis sitting there with a bowl of cereal. She looked up at him and smiled, “Morning daddy.” 

“Good morning Pumpkin. Studying?”

“Yeah. I have a big history test today. It’s the mid-term finals.”

“You will do amazing.”

“I know I’m just worried. Morning Kate.”

“Morning Lex. How’s your studying going?”

“Pretty good. Oh! I have to go. I’m going to be late if I don’t leave now.” 

Kate smiled and told her, “I’ll pick you up after school. Then we can go shopping for the baby. I’ll bring your dad along and maybe we can pick out some of the furniture.”

Nodding, Alexis smiled and gave Kate a hug as she left for school. Leaving Kate smiling as she walked back into the bedroom to get ready for her day.


	24. Chapter 24

Kate was waiting for Alexis at the front of her school that afternoon. Her hand was resting on her stomach and she was smiling as she felt her son turning somersaults in her stomach. Castle was sitting beside her talking about his latest chapter. Kate was barely listening to him. She was lost in her own thoughts. Thinking about the theme of their sons nursery. They had been looking at pictures online, but nothing had stood out. She really hoped that the could find something today. She wanted the room done before their son arrived.

Castle had offered to call in his interior decorator. However, that felt very impersonal. She wanted it to be something the two of them decided on together. Not something that was picked out by a professional. 

When Alexis finally came running down the steps, she slid into the backseat of the car.She was talking a mile a minute. She told them, “I got an A on my history test. In fact, my teacher said that I had the highest grade in the class.”

Castle smiled and told her, “That’s great Pumpkin. I think we should have some celebration ice cream afterwards.”

“Oh, that sounds good. Maybe we can stop at the store and grab some more fixings. I think I ate the rest of the pickles last night. Pickles and ice cream sounds yummy right now.” 

Castle and Alexis looked at one another and said, “Yuck!!”

Laughing, she shrugged and told them, “Hey. Don’t make fun of the pregnant woman and her cravings. Making a baby takes a lot of work and apparently he wants pickles and mocha ice cream.”

Castle laughed when Alexis said, “At least he doesn’t want dad’s smorelette. Because that would just be disgusting.”

Beckett smiled and said, “Well…. About that.”

Alexis looked at Kate and said, “No? Don’t tell me you want that awful concoction?”

“I was thinking about trying it. Along with some whip cream and pickles. Oh and some chocolate syrup! Now I’m getting hungry.””

Castle looked at her with a look of horror on his face, “Okay. Even I have to admit that’s gross.”

Beckett laughed, “Really Castle? A regular smorelette is fine, but put whipped cream on it and it’s gross.” 

Shaking his head, he laughed, “Oh it’s not the whipped cream exactly.”

“Then what?”

“Adding pickles to it.”

“What? You need something to scoop the whipped cream and chocolate syrup up with.” 

Castle felt like he was turning green and said, “Okay. Can we talk about something else please?”

“Yeah Kate. I think dad’s turning green.” 

“Am not.”

Laughing, Kate changed the subject, “So, we need your help in deciding what theme the baby’s room is going to be. Your dad wants a space theme, but I’m not convinced that it’s right for a baby. I had something else in mind.” 

“Like what?”

“Well, I was thinking about a jungle themed room. Although none of them look just right. Maybe between the three of us we can come up with something.”

“I’m sure we can.”

Alexis sat back and took out her sketch book. She wasn’t the best artist, but she decided to draw up something. By the time they got to the baby store, the sketch was done and she smiled as she closed it and carried it inside with them. 

They picked out most of the furniture of the nursery. However, they still needed a dresser for the baby’s clothes. Walking around one corner, Alexis gasped and took out her drawing. She looked at the dresser and then at the drawing. It would be perfect. Would her dad and Kate agree thought. It was a light green dresser. It had three drawers and would be perfect for her brother.

She bit her bottom lip and pulled her dad over. Showing him the drawing, he smiled and said, “I like it.”

“Do you think Kate will like it? I mean…”

“I’m sure she will like it.” 

Kate turned the corner and asked, “What will I like?”

Alexis said, “Ummm...Well, when you said you wanted a jungle themed nursery I did a sketch. It’s not perfect, but…”

Castle pried it from between her fingers and said, “She’s being modest. It’s really good.” 

“Dad…”

“What? It is.”

Kate held out her hand and he handed it over to Kate. She looked at the sketch and said, “Alexis. This is beautiful.” 

“Really? I mean I did it kind of quick, but…”

The page had a whole jungle scene. It had a baby monkey sitting on a vine. Trees were drawn on the page and a lion was riding on the back of a giraffe. Another wall, had a zebra and elephant. A parrot was sitting in one of the trees. She wiped a tear from her cheek and whispered, “Alexis. This is perfect. It’s just what I was thinking of.” 

Castle smiled, “I love it. It’s perfect for him.”

Since they hadn’t been able to agree on a theme, Kate asked, “You like it?”

“I love it. If you like it I can call my decorator and have her start on it.”

Nodding, Kate agreed and said, “I think that’s a great idea. And Alexis if you want to add some more animals to it you can.” 

“Really? You don’t mind? I’m not sure I can paint it on the walls. I’m not that good of an artist, but I can add more to this. I mean, before dad gives it to her.”

Kate leaned over and hugged her. Then she whispered, “Thank you.” 

Nodding. Alexis blushed and bowed her head. She would never tell Kate this, but she’d been afraid to show her the drawing. Afraid that it wasn’t good enough. When Kate told her she like it, well, it made her day.

After spending the majority of the afternoon shopping, they headed to the grocery store. Stopping to get all the necessary fixings for their celebration. Kate even grabbed a big jar of pickles. Much to the chagrin of Castle and Alexis. Castle whispered to his daughter, “I was hoping she’d forget about those..”

Alexis laughed, “She’s pregnant dad. Just be glad she….”

Kate turned and headed towards the dairy section and grabbed two cans of whipped cream and then she grabbed chocolate syrup. It was that moment that Castle knew he was never going to be able to look at any of those items in the same way again.

He put them in their cart and whispered, “I never thought shopping for any of these things could be sexy.”

He walked behind her and pulled her close. She leaned her head on his back and whispered, “I love you. So much Castle. Thank you for making today so wonderful.”

He put his hands on her stomach and whispered, “Always. Never doubt how I feel about you. Either of you. I love you and I love him. Speaking of which. We really need to come up with a name for him. We can’t keep calling him the baby forever.” 

Kate nodded and whispered, “About that. Well, I…”

He smiled and felt the baby kick and he asked, “We should go through the baby book. Pick out a top ten list and then when we see him we can decide which name fits him.”

“That sounds like a great plan.” 

Turning around in his arms she kissed him there in the middle of the grocery store. Then, she pulled away and her eyes opened wide and she said, “Oh!! I almost forgot something!!”

Hurrying away from him she searched for the right aisle and disappeared down it. She came back a moment later. She was carrying the biggest jar of peanut butter in one hand and a jar of marshmallow fluff was perched on top of it. She was holding it in place with her chin. Castle laughed and asked, “Do I even want to know what that’s for?”

“Baby had a craving. We need to get some bananas on the way out.” 

“What on earth for?”

“Banana, peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwiches of course.” 

The look on his face made her laugh and he said, “I’m not sure I like your pregnancy cravings. It’s odd….”

Alexis laughed at her dad and said, “What’s your excuse dad? You are the man that eats smorelette and you aren’t pregnant.”

Kate snickered at that, “She has a point there Castle.” 

“I don’t like you two ganging up on me. Thank goodness he’s coming. Then it won’t be two against one anymore.” 

“I don’t know Castle. He might be a mommy’s boy.”

Sighing, Castle walked towards the produce section and grabbed the bananas and put them in the cart. Kate walked up beside him and put her arm around his waist.He smiled and whispered, “I’m going to love him no matter what.” 

“I know Castle. And I love you more for it.”

“Did you get everything you need?”

She looked over the items in the cart and nodded, “Yeah. At least for now. Of course it might change tomorrow.” 

Smiling, Castle said, “Well, at least you’re eating now.” 

She nodded and they headed towards the front to pay for their groceries. They were surprised to see Alexis buying something. When Castle asked, “What did you get Pumpkin?”

Shaking her head, she smiled, “It’s nothing dad.” 

He had a feeling it was something she didn’t want him to know about. So, he let it drop. Alexis helped him unload the cart and the cashier rang up their purchases. They walked out of the store together and Kate climbed inside and Alexis helped her dad load the groceries in the trunk. Then she pulled out the small bag and gave it to her dad. He smiled and opened it to look inside. Inside was the cutest pair of socks he’d ever seen. They were mint green with little animal footprints dotting it. He whispered, “They are so cute Alexis. You should give them to Kate.” 

Alexis shook her head and climbed into the car. She had given them to her dad because he had been calling the baby his little tiger. She thought it was fitting. She sat beside Kate and they made small talk while Castle finished putting the rest of their groceries into the car. Soon, he climbed into the passenger seat of the car and they were on their way back to the loft….


	25. Chapter 25

As it turned out, they wouldn’t have a chance to get married before the baby came. Kate was placed on bed rest during her seventh month of pregnancy. She had been at work and felt a terrible pain run through her stomach. She gripped the table and moaned loudly. Causing Castle to turn and look at her. 

“Are you okay?”

She was unable to talk. Barely unable to breathe. So, she shook her head and held onto her stomach. She was finally able to say, “Something’s...something’s wrong with the baby and…”

That was all that she had to say before Castle shot up from his chair and hurried over to her. Ryan, was right on top of them and he ran to the elevator and was hitting the down button. It was there quickly and they got to the parking garage and Ryan told them, “I’ll drive.” 

Castle nodded and helped her into the back seat. They had already taken lamaze classes and he was trying to help her breathe. He whispered, “It will be okay Kate.”

Shaking her head, “The breathing exercises aren’t helping Rick. Damn…”

He took her hand and only grimaced when she squeezed his hand tightly. Before they knew it, they arrived at the hospital. Ryan hurried and opened the back door and helped Beckett out of the car.Rick ran to get a wheelchair. Kate sat down and gripped the handles of the chair tightly. 

She knew that there was something wrong. It was too early for the baby to be born. Almost two months too early. She closed her eyes and she felt a tear slip out from under one eyebrow. She had never felt any pain quite like this before. She felt like her insides were being ripped out. She was able to hear people talking, but she was unable to make out their words. She was only concentrating on her breathing. Something that didn’t seem to be helping at all. 

Doctors appeared from nowhere and an orderly lifted her onto a gurney. She was then wheeled into the emergency room and behind the swinging doors.

Rick was left standing in the waiting room watching the swinging doors. He sighed and then proceeded to pace back and forth in the waiting room. 

Ryan told Castle, “I’ll call your mom and let her know what’s going on.” 

“Thanks Ryan. I…”

Ryan nodded and walked out of the hospital room. Rick finally sat down and sighed softly. Running his hands through his hair he wondered what was going on. Everything had been going so well. They were happy and planning on getting married before the baby was born. All he wanted now was for the doctor to come out and tell him that Kate and the baby were okay. 

It was nearly two hours later when the doctor came out. He asked, “Katherine Beckett’s family?”

Rick jumped up and said, “That’s me! How is she?”

The doctor smiled, “She and the baby are doing just fine. It turns out that she was going into early labor. We were able to stop it. For now. However…”

“Yes?”

“She is going to need to go on complete bed rest. To prevent this from happening again. Because it can be hard on her and the baby.” 

“Does she know?”

“She does.”

“Can I see her?”

“Nodding the doctor told him, “I’ll lead you to her room.” 

They were quiet on the walk to her room. Walking in, he breathed a sigh of relief and rushed over to her bedside. He took her hand and leaned down to kiss her softly, “I was so scared. I…”

He rested his forehead against hers and sighed softly. Then she whispered, “I could have lost him Rick. I…”

“I know. But you didn’t. He will be fine.”

Nodding, “I’m going on bed rest. Just as soon as I get out of here.”

“How long is that?”

Her doctor spoke up, “We want to keep her overnight for observation, but she should be fine to go home in the morning.”

Castle watched as Kate laid her head back and he heard her sigh softly. She held onto her stomach and he knew that she was extremely worried about their son. As he sat down beside her, he wanted to say something comforting, but he found himself at a loss for words.

Kate finally whispered softly to him, “I was so scared Rick. I love him so much and he isn’t even here yet. I…”

“I know Kate. He will be okay. The doctors will make sure of that.” 

She nodded softly, but said nothing. He knew that she was worried and nothing he said would be able to ease her mind. So, he told her, “Alexis and mother are here. They wanted to see you, but…”

Kate smiled, “They can come in. It might take my mind off of things.”

“I’ll go get them.” 

Before leaving her room, he knelt down and kissed her softly. He heard her whimper and she had to restrain herself from grabbing onto his neck and never letting go. 

She watched as he walked away to get his family. She knew that she should call her dad, but she didn’t want to worry him. He was out of the country at the moment. He had taken a vacation in Europe. She didn’t want to bother him, but she knew that he needed to know. So, she would tell him when he called her the next time.The baby was fine. She was fine. She didn’t want her dad to panic and cut his trip short. Especially when there was nothing her father could do.

She was lost in thought when she heard Castle say, “They are going to keep her overnight, but…”

That was when Martha and Alexis came into view. Both of the redheads rushed forward and over to her. Martha knelt down and hugged Kate tightly. The older woman’s concern caused the tears that she had been holding back to start flowing freely. Instead of pulling back, Martha simply held her tight and whispered, “It’s okay my dear.” 

In any other situation Kate would have been horrified to cry like this in front of his family. Today however, she found his mother’s concern comforting. After a few minutes, Kate finally released Martha and whispered softly, “I’m sorry.” 

Shaking her head, Martha told her, “Nonsense. You have nothing to be sorry for my dear.”

Kate grabbed a tissue and blew her nose. Then she smiled when she turned and saw Alexis and Rick standing off to the side. She shook her head and asked, “Another stuffed animal?”

Alexis smiled, “I couldn’t help it. He’s just so cute.” 

Kate laughed at the tiny stuffed animal. It was an otter that had a blue t-shirt on. Alexis handed it to Kate and then leaned down to hug her. The teen whispered, “I’m glad you’re okay. I was so scared when dad called and told me…”

“Honestly? I was scared to. Then your dad showed up and everything was better.”

Alexis smiled, “Dad does manage to make everything better. At least when he’s not acting like a nine year old.” 

Kate laughed and Castle said, “Hey! That’s not nice!!”

Giggling, Kate told him, “But totally true!”

“Humph….I’m glad that we are having a boy. I’ll finally have someone on my side.” 

Kate laughed softly, “Or will you? For the first few years he will probably be a mommy’s boy.” 

“Yeah dad.” 

“You two are mean. You know that right?” 

Kate and Alexis nodded and he smiled softly at them. Even though he pretended to be upset, he found it nice that the women in his life were this close. 

Kate yawned and that’s when Martha announced, “We should let you get some sleep. Don’t worry about a thing. We will see you tomorrow when you’re released.”

Smiling, Kate watched Rick as he walked his family out of her room. It was in that moment that she realized once again just how lucky she was to have him in her life for all of this. This baby might not be him biologically, but he was his son in every way that truly counted. She knew that was all that truly mattered.

Walking back into her room, he smiled when he saw that she had fallen asleep. He leaned over and kissed her forehead and then sat in the chair beside her bed. Saying a silent thanks that both she and the baby were okay.. He knew that being on bed rest was going to be hard for her, so he was determined to do everything he could to make it just a bit easier for her. 

When she was discharged the following morning, Kate found herself in a bad mood. The worst part was that she snapped at Castle two times in ten minutes. It got so bad that he just stopped talking to her. He pushed her in the wheelchair, but said nothing else to her. He helped her into the town car and they sat in silence on the ride home. She kept sighing and when they arrived at the loft, he started to take her bags upstairs. She looked at him and asked, “Where are you going?”

He shrugged and told her, “I didn’t think you’d want to be around me right now. Seeing as how I’m doing nothing but annoying you today.” 

Kate sighed and walked over to him, “I don’t want to fight Castle. I’m sorry. I just...I’m not a good patient. Do you know what I really want?”

Shaking his head, “No.” 

“What I want is to get through the last few months of this pregnancy. Because at the end of it I will get to hold our son. That’s what I want. I’m probably going to be grouchy. Probably going to snap at you from time to time, but I love you Rick. No matter how grouchy I get or how much I complain, nothing is going to change that.” 

She put her arms around him and sighed softly against his chest. Finally, after a few long moments, he wrapped his arms around her and whispered, “Lets get you into bed.” 

“Do you think I can lay on the couch with you? At least for a little while.” 

Castle nodded, “Sure. As long as you take it easy. I don’t want you up for anything other than going to the bathroom.” 

She laughed a watery laugh and then said, “I’m not an invalid Castle.” 

“I know that, but that baby is not done cooking and until he is you are going to take it easy. That means me waiting on you hand and foot. At least for the foreseeable future.” 

“Doesn’t mean that I have to like it.” 

Castle laughed and carried her over to the couch. She laughed as he put her down and handed her the remote. He kissed her and hurried to the kitchen and grabbed them both a drink and sat down with her feet in his lap. She turned on the tv and that was where Alexis found them hours later. Although they had both fallen asleep and her dad was softly snoring. So, Alexis covered them both with a blanket and smiled to herself as she walked upstairs to her bedroom….


End file.
